Just like Him

by Marcia Lee Laycock

My eyes fluttered open to the sound of howling wind. More snow, I thought, and thought about slipping deeper under the covers. But I was awake so I headed to the kitchen to make my usual cup of coffee and start the day. I expected there would be another few inches of snow on our deck and that thought didn’t make me happy. Coffee in hand, I wandered to our back door. Yes, there was another thick layer of the white stuff, but there was something else that caught my eye. A smiley face, grinning at me. There, on the side of our barbeque’s cover was a perfect smiley, eyes and all. 

It made me laugh out loud. And then tears came to my eyes because that smiley barbeque was an answer to prayer. You see, I’d been feeling a little blue lately, a little discouraged, a little “under the weather,” as the saying goes. I’ve been chalking it up to the grey days we’ve been having lately, combined with the fact that I’ve had some health issues that haven’t been fun to deal with over the past while. I’ve also been discouraged by what’s not happening in my writing career. I tried to talk myself out of the ‘funk’ by reminding myself of all that I have to be thankful for. That helped, but the grey mood still lingered. So I asked the Lord to lighten my spirits a little. He knew just how to do it.

As I stood there grinning back at our barbeque, I thought of all the other times He has done something similar. The time he made a tiny flower glow with the promise of hope in my living room as I lay on our couch aching from chemo treatments; the day he showed me a perfect rosebud that had just bloomed in a Papua New Guinea garden when I was struggling to walk after being hit by a debilitating virus; the times he has surprised me with encouraging emails or phone calls from readers who were blessed by what I’d written. These were all ‘smiley’ moments – moments of delight sent by the hand of God. It’s just like Him to know exactly what we need at exactly the perfect time.

We shouldn’t be surprised. The scripture tells us He delights in delighting us. “For the Lord takes delight in his people; he crowns the humble with victory” (Psalm 149:4).

The Scripture also says “because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness” (Lam.3:22,23).

And “great are the works of the Lord; they are pondered by all who delight in them” (Psalm 111:2).

Are you a bit “under the weather” these days, a bit discouraged by what hasn’t been happening in your writing career? Ponder the works, the love, the faithfulness of our Lord. And don’t be afraid to ask him to lighten your spirit. It’s just like Him to find the perfect way to do it.

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Marcia Lee Laycock writes from central Alberta Canada where she is a pastor's wife and mother of three adult daughters. She was the winner of The Best New Canadian Christian Author Award for her novel, One Smooth Stone and also has two devotional books in print. Her work has been endorsed by Sigmund Brouwer, Janette Oke, Phil Callaway and Mark Buchanan. Marcia's second novel, A Tumbled Stone was recently short listed in the contemporary fiction category of The Word Awards.

Abundant Rain, an ebook devotional for writers of faith can be downloaded here. Visit Marcia's website.

 

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My Refuge and My Rock

“What you have done is good but your obsession with it is not.”

Bam. The man’s words hit me between the eyes. He had not pointed me out in the congregation, he had not mentioned me by name, but I knew the words, which he said God had given him, were meant for me.

I was in the middle of writing my first novel, a fantasy that totally enthralled me when I worked on it and during almost every other waking moment. Sometimes it even invaded my dreams. I knew I was obsessed with it and I knew that obsession was not a good thing. I was struggling with some issues in my life and trying to avoid dealing with them. The fiction writing became an escape, the pill I used to take the pain away, my refuge and my rock.

My fiction writing had taken the place of God in my life. It had become an idol.

When I returned home after that conference I knew I had to do something about it so I prayed. I prayed hard. God answered but I did not like what He told me to do - stop. So I didn’t do it. I tried to rationalize it – after all, I prayed before I worked, most of the time, and I had dedicated all my writing to God, hadn’t I? But God’s answer was still the same - stop. I struggled with it for some time, but finally, reluctantly, I obeyed. I stopped writing fiction. I continued to write the devotional column for a local newspaper and other non-fiction work, but I wrote no fiction.

He was merciful and took away the ideas, the scenes and characters that normally flooded my head, but it was hard. It felt like wandering in a desert and I had no idea how long it would last. That time in the desert was a time of growth and trust and learning to be obedient. 

Then, one day, almost two years later, after speaking with a woman from a crisis pregnancy centre, an idea came to mind and a character began to take shape in my head. I was excited but resisted the urge to write it down. Instead, I prayed. I prayed hard. And God released me to write. He gave me a specific time and place in which to do it and as I wrote he helped me to realize it is not writing fiction that will heal me or keep me sane. Only Jesus can do that deep work. When I told my husband that I was writing fiction again, he said, “Now it will come from a place of strength instead of weakness.” Yes, strength that came from listening, waiting, praying, strength that flowed from the mercy and grace of God.

That novel, One Smooth Stone, won me The Best New Canadian Christian Author Award when it was published.

I’ve never forgotten the lessons God taught me during that time. What about you? Is writing your refuge and your rock? Perhaps you need a time in the desert.

“You shall have no other gods before me.” Exodus 20:3

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Marcia Lee Laycock writes from central Alberta Canada where she is a pastor's wife and mother of three adult daughters. She was the winner of The Best New Canadian Christian Author Award for her novel, One Smooth Stone and also has three devotional books in print. Her work has been endorsed by Sigmund Brouwer, Janette Oke, Phil Callaway and Mark Buchanan. Marcia's second novel, A Tumbled Stone was recently short listed in the contemporary fiction category of The Word Awards.

Abundant Rain, an ebook devotional for writers can be downloaded here. Visit Marcia’s website

 

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Cleaning Up

"We are still friends, right?"

I chuckled at the comment my friend and wonderful proof-reader put at the end of her rather long list of mistakes in my manuscript. She has read my work before, but always after it had been readied for publication. This time she was seeing all the flaws and errors and she was a little shy about pointing them out, fearful that I might react in a negative way. I assured her that we were indeed still friends and I was delighted that she was picking up on things I'd missed. Humbled, once again, but delighted.

In writing, we often don't see the mistakes we make because we're too close to the work. We see and read what we think is there, what we know should be there. Our pride tells us the work is perfect, but we all make mistakes and it's important to find them before submitting a manuscript to an editor who might not be as forgiving as a friend. It's a humbling part of the process to which all writers must submit, if they are to find success in the publishing world. And there is a mighty purpose in it. We clean up our manuscripts so that our readers will not say, "oh look what a wonderfully clean piece of writing this is," but so they will see beyond the words, taking no notice of the perfect grammar but grasping the stories of grace and mercy, hope and love that we are trying to convey, and perhaps say, "maybe that kind of thing is available to me too." Their blessing is our goal.

We all make mistakes in life, too, and it's important that we be willing to acknowledge them as well. It's humbling but necessary work, to say "I'm sorry," or "forgive me." It's humbling but necessary work to see our sin and make the changes God asks of us. And there is a mighty purpose in it. We aren't cleaning up our lives to present them blameless and spotless to a demanding God. We are cleaning up our lives so His light can shine through us and be seen by those around us. We are making the changes so others might see and wonder if such grace and mercy, hope and love are available to them, too. Their blessing is our goal.

"In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven" (Matthew 5:16).


Marcia Lee Laycock writes from central Alberta Canada where she is a pastor's wife and mother of three adult daughters. She was the winner of The Best New Canadian Christian Author Award for her novel, One Smooth Stone and also has two devotional books in print. Her work has been endorsed by Sigmund Brouwer, Janette Oke, Phil Callaway and Mark Buchanan. The sequel to One Smooth Stone will be released in 2011. A collection of devotionals for writers has just been released here. Visit Marcia's website

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Once Again

Marcia Laycock is a writer and speaker living in Central Alberta, Canada. Her devotionals have been widely published and her novel, One Smooth Stone won her the Best New Canadian Author Award in 2006.

There's a song by Matt Redman that says -

"Once again I look upon the cross where You died.
I'm humbled by Your mercy and I'm broken inside.
Once again I thank You, once again I pour out my life."

While in Israel we visited a heritage village. It was much like the heritage villages here in North America that portray past history in tableau, with real actors and working artifacts. This village was in Nazareth and was laid out to represent the town as it would have been in the time of Jesus.

The day we visited, it was raining - pouring rain, in fact. Most of the actors kept inside the small shelters, which didn't really keep them dry because the roofs were made of thatch and far from water-proof.

We moved from one scene to the next - the potter's, the weaver's, the wine press, and finally the carpenter's shop. It was here the fact that this was a representation of Jesus' home hit me. I looked at the tools, the kind of rough wood he would have worked with, and Jesus became more real to me.

Perhaps that's why one of the tableaus we saw next had such an impact. The figure at the centre was made of rough wood too, and was draped with a simple cloth. The lighting was subdued, flickering with small oil lamps, their tiny flames leaning toward the focal point of the display. The cross. The cross of Christ.

As the song says, once again I was struck by what Jesus suffered, what he endured for me. I was struck not just by the physical pain he was subjected to, but by the torture of having the sin of the world put upon His shoulders, the agony of knowing His Father was turning His face away.

And once again I became aware that there is nothing I can do to make it up to Him. No remorse, no penance, no acts of kindness, no great work of fiction or text of apologetics. Nothing I do can repay that debt. And once again that act of pure mercy stuns me.

The unconditional gift of love and forgiveness causes my heart to break. And that, I realize once again, is the only thing Jesus wants of me.

A heart broken wide enough for Him to enter in.

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Because He First Loved by Marcia Lee Laycock

Marcia Lee Laycock won The Best New Canadian Christian Author Award for her novel, One Smooth Stone. Visit her website - www.vinemarc.com

There was once a young woman who looked for love. She didn’t know that’s what she was doing, but she did it with ferocious need. She left her home in search of it, attached herself to many people thinking they would give it to her.

She moved from place to place, thinking some day she would find it; she took on various jobs and followed a few careers. She delved into all kinds of creative endeavours. But she was never satisfied. Love was elusive. She began to believe it didn’t really exist.

Then someone challenged her to look in the one place she had avoided. She was convinced she would not find it there, believed she had already looked but been barred from it. Deep in her soul she knew that place was where love lived, but she believed she was not worthy of finding it, so she avoided going to that source.

But eventually she came to the end of her desperate running. Every other source had proven empty and false. There was nowhere else to go, so she turned her face to that source and gave in. “Okay,” she said, “show me that it’s real. Prove to me that love exists for me.”

Then she admitted she had done a lot of things wrong in her lifetime of searching and she asked forgiveness. She didn’t know that was the key that unlocked the barrier.
Nothing happened right away. The clouds didn’t part, lightening didn’t flash, but some time later a miracle occurred. She birthed a child.

What grew in her as she cared for that child was a love she could never have dreamed of. It swelled inside her and overflowed. She recognized the miracle and was thankful. She recognized that someone did indeed love her. He loved her enough to intervene in her life and cause a miracle. She was loved and nothing else mattered. She had found the true Source.

She had learned what the word love truly means. It doesn’t mean receiving at all. It means giving.

“And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God and God in him. … We love because he first loved us.” (1 John 4:16-19).

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