It had been a sleepless night full of
worry and fear. Our daughter had gotten herself into a life-threatening
situation and I felt helpless. I didn’t know what to do. It seemed that any
course of action we took would end in disaster. I went from wide-eyed worry to
pleading with God to keep her safe.
The next morning when I dragged myself
out of bed I realized I had to teach religious education at a local public
school. As I drank my coffee I decided there was no way I could do it so I went
to the phone to call the school and cancel. That was one of the few times in my
life that I felt God say a very definite "No." I tried three times to
pick up the phone but couldn’t do it. Then I got mad. Mad at God.
I was angry that he had allowed my
daughter to get into this mess she was in, angry that he hadn’t protected her,
and angry that now he demanded that, in my distracted and sleep-deprived state,
I should go and teach a fourth grade class about Him. I told Him I couldn't do
it, but I got in my car and drove to the school, ranting all the way, telling
God He was going to have to show up big time because I was in no mood for this.
It was a pretty normal grade four class
– some of them were attentive and easy to teach, others weren’t so much. But
that morning, when I walked into the room I knew immediately something was
different.
Their eyes were glued to me and before I could even begin to teach
the lesson, they started asking questions – very simple, basic, little kid
questions like, Is God real? Is he really with us all the time? Does God really
hear us when we pray? Does He really help us? And as the answers formed on my
lips my heart received the truth and the joy of His presence, His desire to
bless me, His deep deep love for me and His amazing, overflowing grace.
He showed up in that classroom and demonstrated
what Paul must have felt when he said in Ephesians 3:8, "Although I am
less than the least of all the Lord's people, this grace was given me: to
preach to the Gentiles the boundless riches of Christ..."
We writers have all been charged with
this task, to "use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as
faithful stewards of God's grace in its various forms." (1Peter 4:10)
Sometimes we don't feel like it.
Sometimes we're just not in the mood. And sometimes we're mad at God. But if we
move forward in obedience, no matter what, He will show up and pour His grace
through us onto the pages we write and into the lives of His people.
****
Marcia Lee Laycock writes from central Alberta
Canada where she is a pastor's wife and mother of three adult daughters. She
was the winner of The Best New Canadian Christian Author Award for her novel,
One Smooth Stone and also has two devotional books in print. Her work has been
endorsed by Sigmund Brouwer, Janette Oke, Phil Callaway and Mark Buchanan. Marcia's
second novel, A Tumbled Stone has just been short listed in the Contemporay Fiction category of The Word Awards. Abundant Rain, an ebook
devotional for writers can be downloaded here
Visit Marcia's website
Thanks for being faithful, Marcia. :)
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing. This was very encouraging to read!
ReplyDeleteMarcia, this was so timely for us. Jon and I were headed off to church early this morning to serve on the "Prayer Warrior" team that he leads. Seven of us pray throughout the building ahead of time, pray for the various ministry groups, and then pray through the service in a separate room. I never feel like showing up. This morning I felt like the weakest, wimpiest wounded warrior ever. I hadn't read your post yet, but Jon had and shared your story with the team. Very encouraging. Thank you, and I trust your daughter made out ok.
ReplyDelete