Friends Don’t Let Friends Quit!

by Catherine West

If you’re reading this blog, you’re probably a writer. You may be just starting out or have been writing for many years. You may be published or you may still have that dream in sight. But I bet you know one thing.

This is a hard road.

My favorite book is Gone With The Wind. I first discovered it as a homesick thirteen-year old wandering the musty maze of books in the library at my boarding school in the south of England. It was there I was introduced to Austen and Dickens and Tolkien, and eventually stumbled upon what had to be the biggest book my hands had ever held.Gone With The Wind.

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Counting The Costs of a Writer's Life

by Rachel Hauck

Merry Christmas, Happy New Year!

We spend a lot of time at Novel Rocket, My Book Therapy, and in the writing industry as a whole talking about craft, networking, marketing, promoting, and the general way to write a book. Panster, plotter, planster (plotter and panster combination.)

But what we don’t discuss much is the cost of giving your life to writing. Especially to writing fiction.

There’s a price tag, and while I love what I do, there are days I “feel” the price I’ve paid.

I have no co-workers. I sit in my lovely tower, which I adore, alone every single day. Sometimes the phone never rings for me. I may not get a personal email or friendly phone call for days.

My family lives out of my state. I don’t have children. My life is carved out perfectly to crank out two, maybe three books a year. But I gotta tell ya, it can get lonely.

I’m so grateful for the friends the Lord has given me. Susie Warren, Beth Vogt, Lisa Jordan and others.

I can’t write a book without calling Susie several times a week. Nearer to my deadline, I might call her several times a day. I value her friendship and input! What a gift.

But practically speaking, she lives in Minnesota. I live in Florida.

One of my favorite things from days-gone-by was my corporate job relationships. We had some sure laughs and some grand lunches, and great success on the job. I loved solving a problem and celebrating with my co-workers. The day-job provided immediate feedback.

Sure, there were the tough days, the drag-my-butt-into-the-office days. And I had a very interesting boss. But overall, I enjoyed my office job.

I read about writing being a solitary life. I’m good with solitary. But friends, it is a really solitary life.

Writers have to say, “No,” to extracurricular activities. We can’t be running around town shopping, or lunching, or sadly, volunteering.

We have to shut off the TV, the radio, the internet and just “be” with our stories and characters. We must face the pain of making people that only live in our heads and hearts come to life on the page.

Good writing days are followed by hard writing days. We wrestle with our insecurities and doubt. There might be days or weeks where we hear from no one in our profession: not a reader, an editor or agent.

The only way we go forward with any confidence is by sheer discipline and will. And it’s a fight!

The other day I was driving to morning prayer at church, wrestling with my lack of close, local friendships. No don’t go feeling sorry for me, I do have friends. I do! I’m not a hermit or miser. But, the friendships I used to have at work, or when in college, are gone. At my age, many of my friends are busy with children or even grandchildren!

As I mused over this, I finally thought, “Maybe it’s not that I lack friends but I lack the right perspective.”

I’ve chosen the writer life and with it comes certain handicaps. It’s not 9-5. I’m not surrounded by people all day. To do the job, I have to retreat sometimes.

The challenge for us is to be content exactly where God has us. As I mused over my situation, I heard Jesus say, “I’m your friend.”

I teared up. “Will you come to my house for Christmas dinner?”

“I will.”

See, it’s about perspective. What a true and dear friend we have in Jesus. And the friends I do have in my town, are lovely and always ready for a lunch when I can break free!

But, back to the writer’s life. Are you ready to pay the cost? I’m not the only writer who struggles with friendship time and heart-connections within the local community.

I’ve heard other writers share similar things. It’s why we’ve created the My Book Therapy Community. It’s why there are writing organizations like American Christian Fiction Writers.

Take stock of yourself. Are you too busy being a friend and doing other things to write? Even for writing moms, at some point, you have to close out the hubbub and noise of the family and write. I’m awed by my mom writing friends like Susan Warren, Cara Putman, Kristin Billerbeck and Tracey Bateman.

Are there things in your life cluttering out writing?

Count. The. Cost.

The life of a novelist will cost you precious things. But it is worth it. So very worth it.

Tips

1. Get with the Lord. Spend time with Him, praying over your schedule, asking Him to release your heart as an author.
2. Counsel with your spouse or close friends, parents or other family. Is this the time to devote to writing and say no to other things? Or will that season come later. It is RIGHT and PERFECT to wait until the “write” season.
3. Find a place that’s yours to write. Make sure no one else invades. It’s yours. Even if it’s a table at Panera or Starbucks, make it your writing spot.
4. Schedule time to be with friends and family. Be purposeful. If you do ministry at your church or volunteer in the community, keep to a schedule. Don’t pick up extra jobs just because you feel bad for someone. Do ONLY what the Lord has called YOU to do.
5. Write on the hard days. Sometimes those words are better than the ones who come on the good days. If you only have an hour to write on busy days, take it!

Writing is purposeful. So is the writer’s life. Be purposeful. Tune out the noise. Still your heart and mind.

Write, counting the cost.

TWEETABLES

Counting The Costs of a Writer's Life by Rachel Hauck (Click to Tweet)

While I love what I do, there are days I “feel” the price I’ve paid.~ Rachel Hauck (Click to Tweet)

Writing is purposeful. So is the writer’s life.~ Rachel Hauck (Click to Tweet)

New York Times, USA Today ​and Wall Street Journal best-selling, award-winning author Rachel Hauck loves a great story. She serves on the Executive Board for American Christian Fiction Writers. She is a past ACFW mentor of the year.  A worship leader and Buckeye football fan, Rachel lives in Florida with her husband and ornery cat, Hepzibah. Read more about Rachel at www.rachelhauck.com.

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What Are Friends For?

by Cynthia Ruchti


I get by with a little help from my friends. That's what friends are for. You've got a friend. Friendship.

The songs are swirling around me in these post-conference weeks. When a new writer asks, "Where do I start?" my answer is almost always the same. "Attend the best writers' conference you can afford. You'll learn more there in a few days than you can imagine. It will be an atmosphere in which you can sense direction for your writing and your life. You'll get a taste of what it takes to move from idea to publication. And you'll make friends that will serve as cheerleaders, critics, connections, and comrades on this journey."

At the recent ACFW conference, I reunited with hundreds whom I consider fellow travelers and cherished friends. Among them was a woman I hadn't seen for many years. We'd first met at another conference, but our paths hadn't crossed since then.

Less than a minute into our conversation, we chatted as comfortably and transparently as if we were next door neighbors rather than once-a-decade friends. Before the night was over, she'd blessed me with a kindness that met a heart-need only God knew about. At the gala the next evening, I told her how much her grace-gift meant to me, and how God had used it to prove His Presence in a challenging situation.

It might have seemed to have nothing to do with writing. But it reminded me that God didn't drop us onto a deserted publishing island. We landed in a populated place. This writing community matters to our success.

Critique partners. Prayer partners. Mentors. Mentees. Instructors. Editors. Endorsers. Influencers. Readers. Agents. Bookstore owners. Librarians. Book club members. Brainstorming partners. Marketing managers. Publicists…

The whole community "grows from (Christ), as it is joined and held together by all the supporting ligaments. The body makes itself grow in that it builds itself up with love as each one does their part," Ephesians 4:16 CEB. Yes, that verse specifically refers to the Church. The Christian fiction writing community is a reflection of the church concept. God knew we would need each other in order to be our best selves. We'd need Him. And we'd need those who follow Him to accompany us, help us with course corrections, and demonstrate His grace for the journey.

We get by…with a little help from our friends.

YOUR TURN: When has the kindness of a friend served as a reminder of God's provision, forgiveness, grace, or kindness?


Cynthia Ruchti is an award-winning author and speaker who tells stories hemmed in hope. Her recent releases include Ragged Hope: Surviving the Fallout of Other People's Choices, When the Morning Glory Blooms, and All My Belongings. September say the release of Mornings With Jesus 2015, a devotional collection from Guideposts for which she is one of ten contributors. www.cynthiaruchti.com, http://www.facebook.com/CynthiaRuchtiReaderPage

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Counting The Cost of Writing

Best-selling, award-winning author Rachel Hauck loves a great story. With a love for teaching and mentoring, Rachel loves to come alongside writers and help them craft their novel. She's the Book Therapist for My Book Therapy and sits on ACFW's Executive Board.

Otherwise, she lives in Florida, where she is also a worship leader, with her husband and dog.

*** 

We spend a lot of time here and in the writing industry talking about craft, networking, marketing, promoting, and the general way to write a book. Panster, plotter, planster (plotter and panster combination.)

But what we don’t discuss much is the cost of giving your life to writing. Especially to writing fiction.

There’s a price tag, and while I love what I do, there are days I “feel” the price I’ve paid.

I have no co-workers. I sit in my lovely tower, which I adore, alone, every single day. Sometimes the phone never rings for me. I may not get a personal email or friendly phone call for days.

My family lives out of my state. I don’t have children. My life is carved out perfectly to crank out two books a year. But I gotta tell ya, it can get lonely.

I’m so grateful for the friends the Lord has given me. Susie Warren, Beth Vogts and a group of Romance Tweeters to help create some kind of "work environment."

I can’t write a book without calling Susie several times a week. Nearer to my deadline, I might call her several times a day. I value her friendship and input! What a gift.

But practically speaking, she lives in Minnesota. I live in Florida.

One of my favorite things from days-gone-by was my corporate job relationships. 

We had some sure laughs and some grand lunches, and great success on the job. I loved solving a problem and celebrating with my co-workers. 

The day-job provided immediate feedback.

Sure, there were the tough days, the drag-my-butt-into-the-office days. 

And I had a very interesting boss. But overall, I enjoyed my software project manager job.

I read about writing being a solitary life. I’m good with solitary. But friends, it is a really solitary life.

Writers have to say, “No,” to extra curricular activities. We can’t be running around town shopping, or lunching, or sadly, volunteering when deadlines are looming. Especially if you have a family to tend to as well.

We have to shut off the TV, the radio, the internet and just “be” with our stories and characters. 

We must face the pain of making people that only live in our heads and hearts come to life on the page.

Good writing days are followed by hard writing days. We wrestle with our insecurities and doubt. There might be days or weeks where we hear from no one in our profession: not a reader, an editor or agent.

The other day I was driving to morning prayer at church, wrestling with my lack of close, local friendships. 

No don’t go feeling sorry for me, I do have friends. I do! I’m not a hermit or miser. But, the friendships I used to have at work, or when in college, are gone. At my age, many of my friends are busy with children or even grandchildren!

As I mused over this, I finally thought, “Maybe it’s not that I lack friends but I lack the right perspective.”

I love my job! Love writing novels. I've wanted to do this since I was a girl. 

I'd have more regrets for not sitting in the tower and writing than the regrets of the lonely writer life.

The challenge for us is to be content exactly where God has us. As I mused over my situation, I heard Jesus say, “I’m Your friend.”

I teared up. “Will you come to my  house for Christmas dinner?”

“I will.”

See, it’s about perspective. 

What a true and dear friend we have in Jesus. And the friends I do have in my town, are lovely and always ready for a lunch when I can break free!

But, back to the writer’s life. Are you ready to pay the cost? I’m not the only writer who struggles with friendship time and heart-connections within the local community.

I’ve heard other writers share similar things.

Take stock of yourself. Are you too busy being a friend and doing other things to write? 

Even for writing moms, at some point, you have to close out the hubbub and noise of the family and write. I’m awed by my mom writing friends like Susan Warren, Cara Putman, Kristin Billerbeck and Tracey Bateman.

Are there things in your life cluttering out writing?

The life of a novelist will cost you precious things. But it is worth it. So very worth it.

Here's a few tips:

Get with the Lord. Spend time with Him, praying over your schedule, asking Him to release your heart as an author.

Counsel with your spouse or close friends, parents or other family. Is this the time to devote to writing and say no to other things? Or will that season come later. It is RIGHT and PERFECT to wait until the “write” season.

Find a place that’s yours to write. Make sure no one else invades. It’s yours. Even if it’s a table at Panera or Starbucks, make it your writing spot.

Schedule time to be with friends and family. Be purposeful. If you do ministry at your church or volunteer in the community, keep to a schedule. Don’t pick up extra jobs just because you feel bad for someone. Do ONLY what the Lord has called YOU to do.

Write on the hard days. Sometimes those words are better than the ones who come on the good days. If you only have an hour to write on busy days, take it!

Writing is purposeful. So is the writer’s life. Be purposeful. Tune out the noise. Still your heart and mind.

And write, counting the cost.

Read More