My Day of Epiphany

by Marcia Lee Laycock

I was in tears. No, not tears of sorrow but the kind that spring from being touched deeply and profoundly. Interesting that it happened to be January 6, traditionally known as the day of Epiphany.

It happened as I began a writing course called The Creative Way by Ted Dekker. A few months ago I almost emptied my writing bank account to buy this course. I’d seen it advertised a few times and kept thinking about it, looking at it, trying to gauge whether or not it was worth the money. I kept thinking about the exchange rate and how that bumped the product up to a cost I would not normally entertain. But I kept going back to it again and again. I felt there was something there that God wanted me to investigate. So I took the plunge.

The first module stirred me deeply, not because it was anything I hadn’t heard before but because it was all about something my heart reaches for – abiding in Christ. Mr. Dekker tells his own story and then gets to the bottom line – our identity does not lie in who we are as mothers or fathers or plumbers or dentists or yes, even as novelists. Our true identity lies in the fact that we are children of God. Our freedom and release spiritually and creatively lies in believing how deeply He loves us. The premise is that “transformative fiction” comes from a heart that is resting in that place because that heart is first and foremost seeking to go deeper into that identity. The process teaches us to love God, love ourselves and others as ourselves and our work becomes part of that process.

I knew that. I believed that. But until yesterday I was not whole-heartedly pursuing that path.

I remember chatting with a writer friend some time ago about the fact that I’m a two time cancer survivor. I mentioned that I did not once ask God, “why me?” My only question as I walked down that path, was, “Who are you, God? Who are you really?”

My friend smiled. “You’re ready,” she said.

I didn’t understand what she meant then, but I do now. I’m ready to let go of me - as a mother, pastor’s wife, church leader and yes, even as a writer. I’m ready to get to know who I really am. I have a feeling this course is going to do what Ted promised in his introduction. It is going to change my life and my work.

I’ll be blogging about it here as I go, and no doubt what I learn will spill over into this blog as well. I welcome any comments along the way.

“I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in Me and I in him, bears much fruit; for without me you can do nothing.” John 15:5 

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Marcia Lee Laycock writes from central Alberta Canada where she is a pastor's wife and mother of three adult daughters. She was the winner of The Best New Canadian Christian Author Award for her novel, One Smooth Stone. The sequel, A Tumbled Stone was also short listed for a Word Award. Marcia has three novels for middle grade readers and four devotional books in print and has contributed to several anthologies. Her work has been endorsed by Sigmund Brouwer, Janette Oke, Phil Callaway and Mark Buchanan. Visit Marcia’s Website

Abundant Rain, an ebook devotional for writers can be downloaded on Smashwords or on Amazon. It is also now available in Journal format on Amazon. 

Her most recent release is Celebrate This Day, a devotional book for special occasions like Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, Thanksgiving. 

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Highlights

The buzz of the audience made it clear that much was expected. Excitement hummed through us all as the evening’s coordinator took the stage to introduce the main speaker. I had read some of his books – some I liked, some not so much – so I was unsure what to expect from him as the plenary speaker at Write! Canada, the country’s largest writers’ conference, held June 11-14 in Guelph Ontario. 

When he took the microphone and admitted that he hadn’t really prepared a speech for that night, I groaned inwardly. I’d heard speakers say that before and had to endure a rambling talk that had little focus and not much depth. But this speaker, on this night, would prove different.

Later it would be referred to as “The Ted Talk,” and it was the highlight of the conference for many of us because the speaker, best-selling author Ted Dekker, spoke directly from his heart about his life as a young missionary kid, his life as he became obsessed with writing and his life as success brought him to his knees and led him to surrender completely to God. 

These are some of the things I jotted down that night. I trust they will stir your hearts to ponder :

*Writing itself is a process to peace.

*Your fear will keep you chained – move forward on the beautiful path of surrender.

*You are a writer for your own transformation, not for your success.

*Let go of the need to be better than you are and discover your true beauty right now through your writing.

*Your objective is to live life, not publish books so focus on your writing as a means to knowing God.

*Writing becomes “magical” when you find the light in your own darkness.

*If you are not being transformed the story will not be about transformation.

*We are just kids playing at making sand castles that will be swept away. But we are left with what has happened in us and what we find within us – God himself.

*Find the greatest conflict in yourself right now and write it. Bleed on the page.

Ted’s talk was recorded by Swordfish Digital (email conferences@swordfishdigital.com ) and will be available on The Word Guild’sWebsite in the near future. I highly recommend it to all writers of faith.

****

Marcia accepting The Word Award for

her short story, An Unexpected Glory at Write! Canada 2014                              

Marcia Lee Laycock writes from central Alberta Canada where she is a pastor's wife and mother of three adult daughters. She was the winner of The Best New Canadian Christian Author Award for her novel, One Smooth Stone. Her second novel, A Tumbled Stone was also short listed in the contemporary fiction category of The Word Awards in 2013. 

Marcia's work was short-listed in three categories at Write! Canada's Gala Award Ceremony held June 11th, 2014, in Guelph Ontario, Canada. Her work has been endorsed by Sigmund Brouwer, Janette Oke, Phil Callaway and Mark Buchanan. 

Abundant Rain, an ebook devotional for writers can be downloaded here. 

Visit Marcia’s  Website  to learn more about her writing and speaking ministry

 

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FEAR!!!

Late one night while I was writing my second novel, Havah, I dragged myself home from from a business trip—tired, bloated, grouchy, stinky…  and on deadline. I had two solid days at home before my next work trip, and 5,000 words to write.

Why then, the next day, did I want to do nothing but pick my cuticles, read my mail and watch the SyFy channel?

Fatigue is probably among the top three reasons not to write on any writer’s procrastination list (along with sudden onset of gout, spontaneous junk drawer cleaning and inspection of the hair follicles on one’s knees).

Fatigue, I am used to. I confronted it in my days of technical writing, during Demon’s early drafts (which took place during my divorce, in the midst of a move, and against the backdrop of a full-time on-the-road consulting job). I was published, wise to the ways of writerly misconduct and on to myself.

So how, then, did I find it especially convenient to contemplate the merits of dying my hair purple again? Why the sudden fascination with the more obscure features of the DVR menu and, when duty kicked in and I sat down at my desk, the sense that I was digging my heels in like a mangy shar pei on his way to the groomers?

Because I was afraid.

I could not admit that it was fear that had crept up the back of my calves and twined about my waist and latched on with tiny suckers to the back of my skull. But that’s what it was, whispering that I was a poser, questioning my word choice, my sanity, and whether I was dying of a rare skin-eating disease and just didn’t know it.

I know of only two ways to remedy fear. The first is to pray. Prayer, I find, requires a certain amount of honesty—or as much as we have at the moment.

Secondly, write. That’s what we do.

Also, stop thinking about your readers. I’m sure there’s something patently wrong with this advice, but it’s the only thing that got me through Havah. Because somehow, thinking about what my editor, my mom, pastor, English teachers, and neighbors would think really wasn’t helping.

Write with all the uncensored honesty you have. Pour out the beauty, the ugliness, the questions, and bleed the fear. Time enough for censoring later (there was plenty of that with Havah, too). I meant it in the dedication when I said I wrote that book for you, but while I was working, you were not with me. I was alone in the beginning of the world with the adam, and with God.

Perfectionism… I’m not sure it’s all bad, personally. My friends will argue that I’m this side of mentally ill, but I’d like to think there’s genius in and time for perfectionism. Nitpicking has its place. But it isn’t while you’re writing. Honesty is messy. Let it out.

In the end, we are the only ones who jointly own this thing we have done in conjunction with the creative hand of God. In the end, you are the one sitting alone, naked with The One. Like a prayer prayed out loud for the benefit of others, we are the ones who suffer the loss of that intimacy if we worry about sounding right to those around us.

So go ahead. Pray, be honest, and keep writing.

TOSCA LEE left her position working with Fortune 500 Companies as a Senior Consultant for the Gallup Organization to pursue her first love: writing. She is the critically-acclaimed author of Demon and Havah and is best known for her humanizing portraits of maligned characters. She makes her home in the Midwest.

TED DEKKER is a New York Times bestselling author of more than twenty novels with a total of more than 5 million books in print. He is known for thrillers that combine adrenaline-laced plots with incredible confrontations between good and evil.

FORBIDDEN
By Ted Dekker & Tosca Lee

Many years have passed since civilization's brush with apocalypse. The world's greatest threats have all been silenced. There is no anger, no hatred, no war. There is only perfect peace... and fear. But a terrible secret has been closely guarded for centuries: Every single soul walking the earth, though in appearance totally normal, is actually dead, long ago genetically stripped of true humanity.

Fleeing pursuit, with only moments to live, a young man named Rom stumbles into possession of a vial of blood and a piece of cryptic writing. When consumed, the blood will bring him back to life. When decoded, the message will lead him on a perilous journey that will require him to abandon everything he has ever known and awaken humanity to the transforming power of true life and love.

But the blood will also resurrect hatred, ambition, and greed.

Set in a terrifying, medieval future, where grim pageantry masks death, this tale of dark desires and staggering stakes peels back the layers of the heart for all who dare to take the ride.

"...mammoth twists and head-pounding turns that will have readers and book clubs debating the roles of emotion and logic that drive human existence." (Publishers Weekly )

"FORBIDDEN: The Books of Mortals rocks with the same level of intensity and brilliance as Dekker's Circle Series. Riveting, resounding, and a magnificent blend of Dekker's and Lee's styles. I devoured FORBIDDEN." (James L. Rubart, bestselling author )

The characters are so well developed, the pacing breathtaking, and the storyline so utterly satisfying that I am in tears that its sequel, Mortal, is not yet available. I just have one thing to say after reading Forbidden—it’s good to be ALIVE!" -- Ronie Kendig, author of Digitalisand Wolfsbane

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