Author Interview ~ Joyce Oglesby

Joyce Oglesby was born in South Georgia, the oldest daughter of a struggling tobacco farmer. She worked the farm alongside six brothers and a sister where her deep-rooted work ethic was born. Her tumultuous childhood proved a valuable teacher to Joyce, defining important standards and insightful wisdom with regard to life and love. She wears many hats: wife of 35 years to minister Webster Oglesby, mother, and court reporter/business owner for 30 years. They’re blessed with two daughters and grandchildren. Joyce’s passion is directed to women's issues. Her many speaking topics include: "Beyond This Point," "Getting Past the Past," "Choices, Consequences and Contentment," "Knowing the Hands that Touch You," "The Gift of Caregiving," "The Sacrificial Gift," "Women of Excellence," "Balancing the Scales of Mary v. Martha," among others. Visit her website.

Share a bit about your writing journey.

I’ve always had a slant for writing. I’m a detailist by nature, which makes for colorful storytelling. Marriage, the ministry, children and career directed me seemingly everywhere but to the writing trail. Little did I realize, they were preparing me for the journey all along. Being married to a wonderful man, enjoying the privilege of motherhood (eventually grandmotherhood) and being in the legal industry as a court reporter prepared my heart for God’s ultimate course for my life.

My heart was burdened for the marital breakups I personally witnessed. Friends, pastor acquaintances, members of the churches we served, and domestic legal disputes barraged me with inner turmoil of why families become unraveled. A product of parental divorce after 32 years of a turbulent marriage, I understood what children went through in the throes of disconnecting from mom and dad as a united couple. I committed families in general to the Lord in prayer, lifting the lives of the innocent victims up for His care and blessings.

Listening to my husband’s sermon one Sunday, a title, ten principles and cover concept dropped in my lap. I grabbed pen from purse, jotted the inspiration down on an envelope stuck in my Bible, and tucked it away awaiting revelation of why it presented itself to begin with.

Eight months later, while co-teaching a marriage class with my husband. I prepared a lesson derived from those principles, and it met with resounding success. In fact, the class of 83 wanted to continue with my lesson plan rather than the series we began teaching. The following Sunday, five couples—independently, of course—came to me and my husband declaring how that one lesson had saved their marriages. It was evident God was responding to this burdened heart for families. Thus, the birth of Keeping His Pants On … Until He Gets Home.

An attorney client of mine gave me Dr. Dennis Hensley’s name. I forwarded him the book for his book-doctoring in order to submit it for publication. He was very impressed with the book and encouraged me to go to Colorado Springs to the “Write for the Soul” Conference, less than a month away. There Les Stobbe, well-respected Christian literary agent, picked me up as a client.

The publication path proved to be thorny, slow-paced (at least in a court reporter’s progression of productivity), and painstaking. What an adventure! There are many more books welled up inside. Life’s preparation is part of God’s perfect timing.

What came first for you -- the platform or the book(s) and how did/do the two mesh?

The evolution of the platform was through personal experiences in different arenas. But the book came first, which made me an instant expert. The complexities of marital issues have created subplatforms for me, i.e., anti-pornography, sexual purity, domestic violence, sexual abuse, and others.

How would you sum up your platform, expertise or message?

My passion is that Christian families preserve the history begun by two people. And even if that history has been blended along the way, to understand the urgency of reimplanting values in our children like commitment to relationships, sexual purity, respect, “it’s not just about me,” integrity, and that God is honored above all else.

What's more important to your platform, education or personal experience? Why?

Personal experience. I consoled many people at funeral homes at the loss of their mother, but never once could say “I understand what you’re going through,” because I truly didn’t. Now that I have lost my mother, I embrace it with a different emotion than ever before. I can say, “I understand exactly what you’re going through.” I don’t understand from a wife’s perspective about divorce because I’ve never been there—thank you, Lord! But, I do understand the disconnect, the havoc it wreaks in a family—even a tumultuous one, and the consequences that go on for generations.

I have agonized with friends and family members going through the myriad issues evolving around marital breakup, have seen it from a clergy standpoint—how people have allowed weak fleshly desires to compromise their salvation, and have seen first-hand the legal ramifications of marital disputes. I would need a law degree, a theological degree and a psychology degree to have encompassed the lessons learned in my personal experiences. Life’s instruction is best embedded in the teaching skills of having served in the war.

How does your message or your book(s) meet a need that others do not?

Coming from down-to-earth, woman-to-woman, and a minister’s wife’s tried and true personal experiences, I believe it to be touching more hearts and changing women’s perception of the misnomer of submission. It’s not a clinical approach, one of self-evaluation or duty-bound journals of self-improvement or formulas for change. It’s a reminder of what comes naturally for every woman—a desire to please a man, with attainable tips sure to do so. It unshackles women from the chains of misconceptions of God and sex. Satan has painted this creation of God’s a different color, and we have bought into his deceit from one extreme to the other.

Does your passion reside with your message? If yes, spout a bit, if not what is it you aren't writing but want to?

My passion begins with women as the target. Why women? Because we are the movers and shakers of our men and our children. We are the managers of the home. We are creative and spontaneous, detail-oriented, and keep a pulse on all things in our world. Help women deal with life’s tough obstacles and get beyond their past, and they can make a difference not only in their lives, but in all with whom they connect. There are many books to unleash with regard to women’s issues.

The ultimate passion is that of preserving the family unit. The next book is geared to that of the husband and father. The next of this genre will be the teenagers.

What are your major marketing strategies?

Reach the churches. Tapping into the women’s ministry leaders and securing speaking engagements to offer women solutions for everyday concerns. Speaking via radio and television broadcasts. Promoting rallies, such as My HIM Day designed to challenge and educate women to recognize warning signs within the home and how to boldly address the – issues like pornography, poor choices in friends, adopting parent rules over kids’ rules, getting your house in order. The nationwide My HIM (Jesus - HE Is Mine, My Husband Is Mine, My Home Is Mine – HIM) Day Campaign, an anti-pornography campaign, is one such program.

What marketing have you done in the past that has been most effective and what are you hoping to try in the future?

This is relatively new to me, but I have been in business for 30 years. I have never had to “market” my reporting business; my product has spoken for itself and I have always had more business than I knew what to do with. This is a different genre. I am finding churches to be a difficult ground to break into in the area of sexual awareness issues.

Once I’m in the door, without exception people are STARVED for any instruction on how to turn around stale marriages, or to give them answers for sexual purity for their children. What a tentative dilemma for the church, I understand, but finding the magic computation of who better to instruct our people on sexually moral issues than the church is frustrating at best.

Chipping away at media opportunities I am finding to be very effective. Going into seminars or speaking engagements with another angle, like menopause or pornography or divorce, and offering my book as a resource seems a less in-your-face approach.

What helped you the most when attempting to clarify your call or platform?

Sharing the story of how title and cover was not mine to compromise seems valuable in coming to an understanding of why a minister’s wife would broach such a topic, especially in the manner she did.

Any books or classes that you'd suggest to other writers?

For those writing on intimacy related subjects, these two books are vital:

Romancing Your Husband by Debra White Smith
Sex is Not a Four-Letter Word by James Watkins

What career would you pursue if you couldn't write or speak?

Creative ways to make memories!

How do you handle criticism over your subject matter or how you've handled it? Will you rethink the way you write your next book because of it, why or why not?

I’ve let God handle it. I am a fighter by nature—reared in a family of “redneck” fighters!! (Really! I think “the stork” dropped in the wrong household!!) I’ve always been quick to defend “my honor”—especially when it involves my husband or children (like all women!). I have really been different about this. Yes, it stings, I’ll admit. But, I have simply stopped and prayed, “Lord, You fix it. You’ll do a much better job than I would.” And, He has! Every time. I’m confident He will take it exactly where He wants it to be. Nowhere else. I am willing to be the vessel. I’m waiting for His instruction. I’m committing that to prayer, too. He will provide the insight, the material (He already has), and He will be the composer, conductor, musician and provide the audience.

What part of writing is the most difficult for you? How have you overcome or conquered it?

Finding the TIME! Hmm. Still working on that. Satan tries to muddle the water every chance he gets!

Parting words? Maybe you've got a perfect answer and I didn't ask the question...here's your chance.

Thank you for being a part of the big puzzle. I believe you are. God’s putting it together for me. He reveals a new piece, or several, every day. It’s only just begun. Can’t wait to see the big picture! God bless you. Now, go and do what God wants you to do with your part in His plan.