Jedi G and the Audible Omelettes

by Mike Duran

The jury's still out on postmodernism's societal contributions. Yet when it comes to the arts, is there any question but that the absence of absolutes exponentially increases our creative options? Like I'm writing a story about an operatic trance band named Creamy Bubble of the Seventh Iguana when I suddenly realize how utterly liberating this postmodern vibe makes everything -- especially music.

It used to be that band names like Led Zeppelin and Smashing Pumpkins were edgy, kinda cryptic. Welcome to the 21st century. Now there's Noodle Muffin and the Pig Squints, Amputatoe, Rainbow Butt Monkeys, Tonto's Expanding Head Band, and Crocheted Doughnut Ring. Who knew?!

So your next novel or screenplay is in dire need of a goth garage band or a mercenary posing as a dance house DJ with an inconspicuous handle. Well, look no further. Random Band Name Generators will scramble words into an audible omelette. At this site, I simply plugged in the name "Gina" (in honor of NJ's own diva), and received the following randomly generated selections. How's this for potential band names?

• Jedi Gina
• Flavor of the Gina Prism
  
• Gina Identity
• Gina's Bad Break
• Gina Puke And The Luminary Rin-tin-tin
• Gina Pod
• Almost Gina
• Crooked Gina and the Unintended Melons
  

So if the writing gig doesn't pan out Gina, you can always explore your options as an Unintended Melon.

But you'll need a genre. The effects of postmodernism in music has not only led to an explosion of quirky, avant-garde, stylistically-inbred and musically mutated artists, it has also spawned a menagerie of morphing genres. Just take a look at this list of *new* musical styles and descriptions I've culled from various sources (mainly from my weekly reading of the L.A. Times Calendar section) :

• surf folk
• indie pop, Twee pop
• nu metal, nu rock
• baile funk
• post-hardcore
• manic Gypsy rock
• synth-punk
• celebutant folk
• glitch-pop
• pub rock
• hair metal
• orchestral pop
• Americana
• emo, "super-chunkish emo"
• sludge-punk
• gloom-metal
• mod-punk
• proto-punk
• noise-pop
• mallcore, also mallgoth

August Brown, in writing for the L.A. Times, describes the White Stripes, as having a "peppermint candy-meets-Flannery-O'Connor mortician aesthetic." Mortician aesthetic? Anyway. . . Then you've got Math Rock, which Epitonic describes thus:

Take the intricacy and complexity of classic weirdo hard rock bands like Rush and Voivod, then add some of punk's hyperspasmodic schizophrenia, and you'll have a legitimate math rock contender. Math rock bands take pleasure in being erratic and unpredictable, often experimenting with peculiar tempos and jazz-derived rhythms while keeping the rock hard and aggressive all the while. Their lyrics tend to be as cerebral and expertly designed as their songs. These bands are rock's architects of the future, recrafting and reinventing the genre's tired song structures.

Tired song structures? Right now, I'm tired of trying to keep up.

Perhaps the one good thing about postmodern music is that there's something for everyone. Goths. Punks. Emos. Headbangers. Celebutants. Nerds. It's all good. Of course, I'm still trying to find a name for the techno-punk-Gypsy-pop band with a hyperspasmodic mortician aesthetic that I so dig. Oh well. Until then, keep an eye out for Jedi G and the Audible Omelettes coming to a lounge near you...