Jessica's Take

My critique is the last one submitted, so I've had the benefit of reading both Ane and Gina's critique. I had made a note, like Ane, to mention that the prologue was very jarring to me. I would not have known from the opening that this author could write as well as he/she does later on.

When I read Gina's comment, I was surprised that I missed the obvious. The opening does indeed strikes me as needing to be improved. I had already thought the prologue was weak and planned to mention that chapter moved too slow for me. My eyes kept skimming to find the action. Unless the author is telling the story backwards, I agree that the opening would be improved for starting elsewhere. Like Gina, however, I rarely read women's fiction, so balance our comments against the genre.

Lastly, I planned to commend the writer on putting us firmly in the protagonist's POV. I felt the unease of being pregnant and weight of the groceries. I suggest shortening the scene in the first chapter. There's an entire novel where characters –such as the mom—can be introduced.

Thanks so much for submitting!