Ane's Take

Wow, intense chapter full of action. LOL - I think you need to work on tightening the POV. I noticed several slips. It felt a bit overwritten to me.

You need to read your work aloud. Some sentences seemed a bit awkward to me, like "Stopping his mounting rage…" For one thing, it's telling and not in POV and a bit passive, considering the action of the opening paragraph. It derailed the tension you'd built in the first sentence.

The POV isn't tight. You seem to slip in and out of narration and the character's POV. I felt like you, the writer were explaining things to me. It seemed to me that if this was his father-in-law, the character wouldn't think of it as "the man's voice" but he'd recognize it and put a name to it.

Your POV tightened up later, i.e. when showed what the character saw instead of telling the reader he saw a light come on, you just stated the light came on. That's strong writing and tight POV.

I question if the POV character knew his father-in-law was unarmed. Did he have his hands in the air? What made the character sure his f-i-l didn't have a weapon?

Overall, though, this is a good story. Riveting and intense. Somehow, I have the feeling Walt didn't pull that trigger. I'd like to see more.