Ane's Take

In my opinion, this has too much back story for the beginning of a novel and especially the opening paragraph. However, I think with some work, this could become very engaging.

Watch dialogue tags like "announced". Better to just use "said". I liked your use of the words "time warp" in regards to the room, but I'd like to see a bit more description on the box instead of a mere "unpretentious". That doesn't show me what it looked like. I could see the room, but you stopped short at the box.

Format wise, I'd suggest putting the letter from her grandpa in Courier or an easier font to read. Let a publisher decide later about what font to use. You want it to be easy on the editor's eyes.

One thing we see a lot of in newer writers, is the urge to show every little movement. I think the monologue about finding something to hang the watch on could go.

I suggest you read it over carefully, looking for places to take some clichéd phrases and make them new. For instance where she: "clutches the watch to her chest, her eyes brimming with tears." What else could she do with the watch? Sit on your bed and play act the scene. Try different things. I'll bet you can come up with a very original one.

Some surgery is called for in this, but underneath the fat lies, I believe, the skeleton of a good story. I'd be interested to see how this gift changes her life.