Gina's Take

First of all, I thought this was overall good writing. It was interesting (story is king), it was dramatic, it was at times eloquent. I loved the line about the baby who came but was already gone. Nothing finer than a great play on words. I thought it was fabulous that she made me believe that he was touching a woman and it was a bottle of whiskey. Well done.

What I would suggest taking another look at? First of all, establish us firmly into the man's pov in the first paragraph. Tell us exactly where we are, and have him experience a sense and react to it.

You begin way too many sentences with "he", "his" etc. It stood out like a sore thumb. Change up the sentence structure some.

In Elements of Style (the so called bible of grammar) they recommend cutting the 's' at the end of words such as "toward(s)" or backward(s). I recommend you do the same.

Though this chapter was powerful, it, in my opinion, was too much at once. I'd keep the memory of the wife and child dying but lose everything about the father. It was so much at once that it felt soap opera-ish at that point. It's not bad, but I'd move it to another chapter. Kind of like a show of colors with flowers.

You plant one red Azalea, one pink, one white. It's pretty. You plant three red and POP. It is a better show because we have one solid color to focus on and it stays with us. (Okay, maybe not the best comparison).

Lastly, who's talking to him at the end? A demon? Is he nuts? He's coming across crazy, which is fine if that's what you want but he's hearing voices and screaming at the air.

Maybe he's going through DTs? (delirium tremors from alcohol withdrawal?)
He's hearing demons. (hard sell)
He's schizophrenic.

These are the choices my mind considered.

Anyway, good job on this. Most important, is that I was interested and would have read further.