Part One: Literary Agent Interview ~ Kelly Mortimer

Welcome Kelly. Tell us a little about yourself, your agency and what type of writing you’d like to represent.

Hasn’t anyone ever told you? You can’t ask an Italian to tell you “a little bit” about anything! Okay, so I’ll give it a shot. Most importantly, I’m a Jesus lovin’ woman. What I do has to be legal, but moral as well. I’m bipolar, but only every other day. I love to make others laugh. No, not by showing up at a conference without my make-up on. I like to put others at ease, and getting them to laugh is a good start. And I’m not above laughing at myself, either. I’m loyal, kind, and generous. Now, if I just had time to shower, I could be a Girl Scout.

I’m proud to say the agency will be RWA approved in January, 2007. I started Mortimer Literary so I could get some worthy unpublished writers published, both in the ABA and the CBA. I want every client to feel as if they’re my only client. My first order of business was to write down everything I hated about agents and agencies, and vow to do the exact opposite. Most agents (and it isn’t their fault) only have time to take on writers with “publisher ready” manuscripts, or writers who are already published. Since I don't need to be an agent to make a living, I can take more time to assist a writer who’s close to publication, but needs some help.

I have a gift for line editing, and I use it. I wield a red pen like James Bond wields a Martini. I want an editor to see my envelope and know what’s inside is clean. My name and the names of my writers are very important to me. We’re partners for better or worse, when published and not published, for as long as we both agree. And, no, they don’t haveta kiss me after the signing ceremony—not that there’s anything wrong with that….

What I represent is listed on my site, but it changes. Once I learn a new market, I add it to the list. Once I get a lot of submissions in a certain genre, I add it to the “not looking for” list. I like Contemporary and Historical, Paranormal, Suspense, Legal Suspense, Military and Spy Thrillers, Inspirational, and just about everything else except Erotica, Chick Lit, and Westerns.

Your signature line is, “diabolically diligent.” What does that mean in practical terms?

It means that I don’t fool around. Well, that’s not exactly what it means. I don't waste a second of my day. I can’t even stand still and wait for the microwave to finish heating something up. I’ll answer an e-mail, read a few pages of a manuscript, or file something. When my authors’ manuscripts arrive, three copies go out the next business day to pre-selected editors who are waiting for them. No, you don’t haveta re-read that line. I said THE NEXT DAY.

There are exceptions, but very few. I strive to do my absolute best, no matter what I’m working on. If I had two broken legs and one broken arm, I’d use my good arm to drag the manuscripts to the FedEx shop. That’s what diligence means to me. I do what I say I’ll do. If by some strange occurrence I can’t, I don't hedge. I’ll call the author and tell them what happened, and I appreciate the same. Just give me the truth, straight up—unless the truth is you missed your deadline. In that case, HIDE!

Are you also a writer?

Yes and no. How’s that for a direct answer? Before I became an agent, I wrote 3 1/3 manuscripts, but didn’t actively seek to sell them. I entered my first two in some contests, both Medievals, and each finaled several times. I also wrote a RS/Mystery, and started a sequel. This last March, my dad died. He was my muse. He’d read more historical romances than Carter’s has pills. I interviewed him for hours on his tour of duty as a Marine in Korea, and I found out the article sold the day I found out my dad went to heaven. I haven’t written anything since, other than editing. Before that, I had 2 articles published in e-zines and sold 7 greeting card captions (I know, but I was told they count). I still maintain my writers Web site at: http://www.kellymortimer.com/, and know one day I’ll go back to writing, but not on my clients’ time.

Share with us how a prospective client would submit to you for consideration.

Sadly, in order to keep my level of attention per client high, I have to keep a short list. I do have details on the agency site: http://www.mortimerliterary.com/. Pretty standard. One-page e-mail queries only. Then three chapters and a short synopsis if requested, also via e-mail attachment. If I want a full manuscript, I need a hard copy. The agency does have one unique feature. If I ask for a full, the writer can e-mail the manuscript to my Staples Office Supply Store, and pay them over the phone with a gift card (they’ll have to purchase the gift card at their Staples). No credit card transactions are permitted over the phone. If the writer was going to pay for the copies anyway, it saves them shipping costs. And how do I get the manuscript? Don't faint. I actually take the 35 minute drive (one way) to pick the manuscript up. I’m only taking referrals from existing clients right now, but check the site for updates. As each client needs me less (sniffle, sniffle), I can add more.

Every agent has areas they are particularly strong in. What aspect of agenting do you excel at?

How many pages do I have? Sorry. First, sales. I sell over the phone with all the enthusiasm I can muster (which is quite a bit!). I don't send queries and partials. I have a database of over 250 editors, and what they want. When I sign someone, I ask them if they have a particular house(s) they’d like to write for, and if not, I’ll choose.

Then I make calls until I find three editors who want the full manuscript. Saves everyone time, and I make a personal connection with the editor. I also have degrees in contract law and finance, and a real estate license. So, after I present an offer you agree to, and I make sure the contract covers your, ah, behind, as best I can, I can invest your advance on a great piece of land (I’m currently selling one-acre lots in Yosemite National Park).

Also, I excel at organization and efficiency. I’m maniacal. I keep spreadsheets of everything and each client gets a report once a month so they know exactly where their manuscripts are, and if I’ve called to check on the status, etc. One more and then I’ll stop. No, really! I like to make the business personal. For every editor rejection we receive, I send a handwritten thank you note on a nice card from both me and my author. And for an editor who buys a manuscript from the agency for the first time, I send a designer soap, which I make myself. A little appreciation and consideration go a long way to forging solid relationships.

What does your dream client look like?

Colin Farrell, if you meant that literally. If you’re not talking about looks, I’d like to represent writers who’ll work as hard as I will (good luck), who won’t give their editors any trouble (I don't wanna haveta slap my clients around), and who’ll trust me and let me do my job, which is to make the writer look good, and get them published. And most importantly, I’d like to represent authors who’d like nothing more than to write and promote, knowing I’m handling everything else for them.

What are some questions an author should ask of a prospective agent?

Has the agent ever sold a book to a reputable publisher? Self-explanatory. Ask to see a list of clients you can get in touch with BEFORE you sign a contract with the agent. Any agent who won’t tell you who they represent usually has a reason. If you really wanna know about an agent, see what their clients have to say about them. My clients gave voluntary quotes for the Home Page of my Web site, http://www.mortimerliterary.com/ . Does the agent charge up-front fees? Mortimer Literary doesn’t charge a penny—just lots of dollars. Not really. I keep tabs on the shipping charges, but don't charge writers monthly.

When I sell one of the writer’s books, the shipping and overseas phone call costs (if any) come out of the advance, and I send all receipts to the writer. If their books never sell (like that could possibly happen), they never pay those costs. How long does it take to get paid? I send the writer a check within 7 days of the publisher’s check clearing the bank. What if the writer has lots of questions? Can they call or e-mail the agent and ask?

I have a ‘FAQ’ page I send when I request a full manuscript. It answers most questions a client would ask, and I’m happy to e-mail a copy of the Agency/Writer contract ahead of time if they’d like to see it. And, yes, a writer can call me. I’m insane enough to have my phone number listed on my Web site—may all other agents forgive me.

How long does the agent “sit” on manuscripts before sending them out?

For me, not long, but I’ve heard horror stories of clients waiting 12-18 months with nothing to show for it. Is the agent accessible? I have business hours, and appreciate it when writers stick to them, but I love to be in communication with my authors. I respond within 24 hours to calls and e-mails.

What’s the best writing advice you’ve heard?

Write. Edit. Write some more. Writing is re-writing what you’ve just re-written. A writer has to be able to edit without it feeling like they’ve cut off an arm. They’re just words on a piece of paper. A lot of us have children, and none of them are books. Don't send a manuscript out before it’s ready. Have someone you trust look at it (no, I’m too busy). Take rejections for what they are—a bunch of idiots who have no idea you’re the biggest talent to come along since “Gone with the Wind” was written. Then smile, and find the person who’s high on your work without being on drugs.

What’s the worst piece of writing advice you’ve ever received?

To be continued tomorrow ...