Part II Literary Agent Intervew ~ Kelly Mortimer

What’s the worst piece of writing advice you’ve ever received?

Some people are going to send me hate mail for this, but it’ll give me something to read while I’m in the bathroom. I don’t like critique groups. You often get too many people who say the exact opposite of what the others do, and some aren’t qualified to edit your grocery list. On one book, I went back and forth, trying to please everyone and by the time I finished, I never wanted to write again. Some group members say they want you to succeed. They really mean they want you to succeed as long as you succeed after they do. There are exceptions, of course (you know who you are). I’d rather have a partner (ah, that’s a critique partner). I have two worth their weight in gold: Julie Lessman, and Sherri Andervich. Tough if you don't like your names in print, ’cause this is my interview. Oh, the power.

Who do you like to read?

You mean in my spare time after I’ve read all the manuscripts my clients give me to line edit? I read my Bible. Then it’s on to submissions. I need to read the Bible first, so I remember I’m to find SOMETHING, SOMEWHERE, I can praise the writer for. After that, suspense and historicals are my favorite.

Do you have time to read for pleasure with so many submissions to look at?

Yes, I read three minutes each day in between editing for clients and taking a bite of an apple dipped in peanut butter (my standard lunch). Really, not a whole lotta time. I do read my friends’ books. I love Rebecca Forster, Karen Kay, Charlene Sands, and Liz Curtis Higgs. It’s important to keep up with the market, though. I have to get a feel for what each editor likes, so I know what to offer them. I’m always reading something.

Do you have a pet peeve having to do with this biz?

Do you really want me to answer that? Where do I start? Publishing houses, IMHO, don't pay the author what they’re worth. If the industry didn’t have writers, they wouldn’t have an industry. For that matter, they don’t pay editors what they’re worth, either.

Let’s see, what else. Oh, writers who know I’m not taking submissions, but send them anyway because they know I didn’t mean their submission. And one more. There are loads of Web sites that tell everyone how rotten certain agents are, and some of the stuff is true, but not all. Some is sour grapes. I wanna know where there’s a site or loop where agents can warn other agents about who I’ve dubbed, “Authorzillas.” Those writers who send pages of e-mails everyday or call excessively, have to have their finger in every minute detail of the business, therefore making it difficult for us to do our jobs, or writers who don't make deadlines and blame everyone but themselves.

We have to let them go, then they tell everyone we’re bad agents. Sheesh! Somebody stop me! I think the phrase should be, “No client is better than a bad client.” Fortunately, I’m blessed by every one of my clients. I stand behind them 100%, unless someone shoots a bullet at ’em, and then I jump in front.

Can you give us a look into a typical day for you?

I get up around 4 A.M. and read my bible, then answer e-mails. After that I look at outside submissions and queries, if I have any, and I usually do. When I request a partial, I give a short line edit (one to five pages), even if I reject. It takes more time than straight reading.

Why do I do this? Because I’m truly in the business to help people. If a writer gets some guidance, they won’t keep sending the same flawed stuff out. I also give them the six-page Grammar Guide I formulated showing the errors I see most often in submissions and how to fix them. Let’s face it, there’s a lot of competition out there. Sending in a clean submission helps.

Then I get my daughter and husband off to school and work, straighten the house, start the laundry, and roam around my 20 acres for exercise with my dogs, while saying my prayers (haveta multi-task). After that, I eat breakfast, and depending on the day, make calls, study the market, update spreadsheets, edit my client’s work, answer more e-mails, agree to be the final judge in a contest, agree to help a non-client edit their manuscript in my “spare” time, watch “Law and Order” while eating my lunch, then everything starts all over. I work until 7 p.m. most nights, unless there’s a TV show on at 6 p.m. I HAVE to watch. “Dog, the Bounty Hunter” is on Tuesday nights. There are SOME things more important than the publishing industry.

What author do you especially admire and why?

I’m not gonna single anyone out. Too many have admirable qualities. Generally, the author who writes for years and years and never gives up until they’re published because they know it’s their gift, and the writer who writes for years and years and gives up because they realize writing isn’t their gift, and when they stop, they’ll figure out what their true gift is.

What is your favorite and least favorite part of being an agent?

My favorite part, after calling someone to offer representation, is getting an unpublished writer published, especially if I figured out why their manuscript was getting rejected, and helped them fix it. Also, I have tons of thank you notes from authors I had to reject, but have taken the time to help, and I save every one, both e-mail and paper notes. Love getting those.

Least favorite: not being able to help more writers. I can do the work of three people, but only three. There are some people I have to say no to, and it especially hurts when I know and like the person.

What's that special something you look for in a manuscript?

Hard to pinpoint. Would I rather take the writer’s manuscript into the tub with me instead of the paperback I’m currently reading? Is it different in some way? Is it snappy? Does it have great dialogue without superfluous words and storylines? This question is kinda like, “How do you know when you’re in love?” You just … know.

What are some things that set off red flags?

The writer has no basic writing skills whatsoever. There are manuscripts where I can spot flaws and take the time to work with the writer to fix them. Some are beyond hope, at least with the amount of time I have. Also, adding scenes for the sake of making a specific word count. Some writers stick scenes in here or there and it’s obvious what they’re doing. Another thing, I dislike lots of description and backstory all at once right up front.

Writers take note: I give a writer five pages to grab me. After that, I have to move on. I’ve heard of some editors/agents who dump the submission if they don’t think the first line is a strong enough hook.

What makes a manuscript stand out from the rest?

The $100.00 bill taped to the title page. Okay, I like good dialogue and lots of action. I’m in the “plot-driven more than character-driven” crowd, but obviously, great characters are important. I want the characters to grow and change, but it’s not the most important thing to me.

I compare manuscripts to the mega-hit songs we get every once in a while. To me, it’s all about the music. If the notes have a haunting quality or the music really rocks (Evanescence is my favorite band), the words aren’t as important. If you have the most beautiful lyrics ever written, but the music is below average, who wants to listen to it? I want an opening that draws me in right away. I wanna know what the book’s about, and I like fast-paced stories.

We all hear how subjective this business is. Can you elaborate on that?

Just because your writing isn’t my thing, doesn't mean it isn’t someone else’s. When that’s the case, I say so. I’ll use the, “It’s not you, it’s me” line. And I mean it. I started reading a great paranormal the other day, but it was too dark for me. So, I pointed out to the author which editors like her kind of book. There are books no one will like. But for most, if well written, the writer will find someone who the story will connect with.

What's the best piece of advice you can give our readers about getting published?

Get a great critique partner with experience who you can trust to tell you the truth without purposefully being hurtful. If you disagree on a major point, have someone in reserve for a second opinion (no, I already told you, I’m too busy). Keep writing and learning. Even Barbara Streisand still takes voice lessons. Now, if someone could get her to use her mouth to sing … sorry, my bad.

Build relationships with people. Try to be nice to everyone, as your reputation is important in this small industry. Word of mouth could crush you no matter how well you write. No agent or editor wants to sign an “Authorzilla.” Work hard, but take time to dream (I have a two minute block scheduled as soon as I finish this interview).

Let's say I have an intriguing query, a well-developed synopsis and my three sample chapters are strong. Why might I still get a rejection?

You write in a genre I don't represent, and since everything I represent is on my Web site, I shouldn't have received a submission from you. Or, I already represent too many clients in that genre and you’ll be more competition for them. If I can think of an agent who’s looking for that genre, I’ll give a referral. Believe it or not, most of us agents aren’t into this big competitive thing. There are more than enough clients to go around. We help each other when possible. Most of us, anyway. There are exceptions, who will remain nameless.

Do you have any parting words of advice?

Set goals and stick to them. Even if you can only write one page a day, write it. Do something writing related. Edit, follow the market, read an article on promotion, etc. Keep your head in the game. Don't take rejections too hard, everyone gets them. Have a sense of humor. Keep submitting. And remember, nice guys can finish first.