The Joy of Hindsight

By Jennifer AlLee

Here it is, December 31st, the eve of a new year. About this time we usually look back at the year with nostalgia (or with a shudder and a prayer of thanks that it's over). Often, it's a time to make resolutions. Today, I'd like to look back, but way back...all the way to Christmas of 1995 and another time-honored tradition: visiting the mall for a picture with Santa.

A wee bit of context here. My son, Billy (who prefers Bill or William now, but at the time was definitely Billy) generally loved having his picture taken and was quite photogenic. On this particular day, he was not, shall we say, agreeable to sitting on a strange man's lap and looking happy about it. I watched as Santa tried to charm him, bouncing him on his knee and never dropping his jolly facade. I, however, was far from jolly. I was mortified. I wanted to explain to Santa and anyone watching that my son really wasn't a little monster, he was just having a bad day.

When the ordeal of sitting for the picture was over, we moved down the line to pick up the proof sheets, which they printed on the spot. The result wasn't good so I had no desire to purchase a package of pics to share with family and friends. But I wasn't going to leave empty handed, so I bought the proof sheets.

It's fair to say, I considered the day a failure. My son was miserable, we had not brightened Santa's day, and there was nothing jolly about the outing. But a funny thing happened. The following year, I came across the proof sheets. When I looked at them, I felt none of the negative emotions from that day. Instead, I burst out laughing. Not a snicker or a chuckle, but a full out, fall over sideways, tears of joy kind of laughter. To this day, I cannot look at those pictures without laughing. What I saw as a disaster when it was happening has now become a great source of joy.

To wrap this up with a pretty bow and show why this should matter to all you writers, let me say this: There are times during life (in general) and writing (in particular) when it feels like everything is going wrong. Those times stink, no doubt about it. But it's just possible that, somewhere down the road, you'll look back on those times and burst out laughing. At the very least, you may smile knowingly, aware of the growth and strength that came from the perceived failure.

So, as we say, "Later, baby!" to 2016 and greet the new year, I have one simple resolution: To find joy in unlikely places. Care to join me?

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Jennifer AlLee was born in Hollywood, California, and grew up living above a mortuary one block away from the famous intersection of Hollywood & Vine. Now she lives in the grace-filled city of Las Vegas, which just goes to prove she’s been blessed with a unique life. A multi-published author, she’s worked with four different publishing houses in the genres of Women’s Fiction, Contemporary Romance, and Historical Romance. When she’s not busy spinning tales, she enjoys playing games with friends, attending live theater and movies, and singing at the top of her lungs to whatever music happens to be playing. 

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Enjoy The Magic While You Can

In the early 90s I renewed my interest in a childhood hobby—sleight of hand. I started going to a local magic club, met other magicians, and learned new tricks.

During my first visit to the club they played a video of renowned coin magician David Roth. It blew my mind. I sat mesmerized as coins vanished from under one playing card and instantly appearing under another.

I realized I had discovered a new level of magic I’d never experienced as a kid. A sense of wonder gripped me as I tried to fathom how the tricks were done. From that moment on I devoured books, videos, and watched as other magicians taught how to make the magic happen.

A year and a half later I was performing many of the same tricks that held me spellbound at those first club meetings. I loved seeing the look of astonishment in friend’s eyes as I performed, but I’d lost the wonder. I now stood behind the curtain.

The Writing Magic

When I leapt into the writing world, every conversation about publishing held the same wonder as that first magic club meeting. Every book on craft, every interview with a published author, every article in Writer’s Digest mesmerized me as the coins did. And going to my first conference in ’06? Disneyland!

A year later I became a category coordinator for the ACFW Genesis contest and secretly dreamed of a day when I would be asked to judge an entry. I dreamed of a day when I would enter my own manuscript in the Genesis contest.

I dreamed of the time I would get an agent, then a contract. I fantasized about the day I would hold my own novel, and about the day I’d get an e-mail from a reader saying my book had impacted them. I got a bit giddy when pretending another author would ask me to endorse their book.

Now those days of wonder are gone. I got the agent and the contract. I sat on my front porch and held my first novel in my hands, and my eyes grew moist. Holding my second novel was different. It was nice, but it didn’t get suddenly dusty like it did before. I’d stepped behind the curtain.

Don’t misunderstand. I love being where I’m at on the publishing journey. And I know there is more wonder coming. But it’s different now.

I suppose this entire post is a way to say to those of you who are pre-published, trust me, while it’s hard waiting, there is magic in those moments. Savor them. They won’t come again.

James L. Rubart is the best-selling author of ROOMS, BOOK OF DAYS, and THE CHAIR. During the day he runs Barefoot Marketing which helps businesses and authors make more coin of the realm. In his free time he dirt bikes, hikes, golfs, takes photos, and occasionally does sleight of hand. No, he doesn’t sleep much. He lives with his amazing wife and teenage sons in the Pacific Northwest and still thinks he’s young enough to water ski like a madman. More at www.jameslrubart.com

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