Publishing doesn't validate your life

This is an article I wrote two years ago, based on something a literary agent once said:

Publishing doesn't validate your life.

How true.

I have to admit before I was published, I thought that if I reached that nirvana called "published author," I'd have sweet validation. Every day would be smiles and dancing. You know what? I was wrong. Being published is terrific, mind you, but it doesn't bring happiness or validation. Instead, it adds more stress to your life.

Gone are the days when I could write for the sheer joy of it. Always looming is a deadline. And though I pinch myself because I "get" to write, and I feel like I'm doing what I was created to do, I sometimes get lost in the cycle of publicity, sales and marketing. And I'm tired of worrying about provision.
Maybe I'm the only one (and I'm embarrassed to admit this publicly), but I check my Amazon ratings for the three (Note: now ten, and I don't do this anymore, thankfully) books I have in print. I know, know, know that these ratings mean very little. I know that a high rank (which is bad) just means that during that hour the book didn't sell. I know that if a band of readers (like a book club) went together and bought ten of my books in one hour, my rating would shoot lower (which is good).  

But it doesn't mean anything.

Why do I pester myself with such nonsense? After all, publishing doesn't validate my life, right?
It's like this weird endless cycle of neediness. It evolves in incremental steps of if onlys:

• If only I could be published in a magazine, even if I'm not paid.
• If only I could be paid to be published in a magazine.
• If only I could go to a writer's conference and have an agent show an interest in my proposal.
• If only I could sign with an agent.
• If only that agent could sell my work.
• If only I could have more than one contract.
• If only I could earn out the advance for the book I wrote.
• If only I could sell enough books so a publisher would want another book from me.
• If only a publisher would treat a mid-list author like me kindly.
• If only I could make a living at writing.
  
  That's a lot of if onlys!

I remember reading about blocked goals once and it's stuck with me. A blocked goal is a goal that is dependent on other's actions or happenstance. All these if onlys fit, albeit somewhat awkwardly, as blocked goals. I don't have any control over whether I'll get a contract offered. I can't make people buy my books. I can't make my book sell enough to earn back an advance. I can't control the fickleness of this industry.

What I can do is create goals that can't be blocked. Goals like:

• I will listen to the heartbeat of God and write what He inspires me to write.
• I will not let writing, by God's strength, overshadow the needs of my family.
• I will write the best books I can write, always seeking to improve, abounding in humility and teachability.
• I will be patient when sales wane and trust God's sovereignty.
• I will promote my books with this motivation: to see the kingdom of God advanced.
• I will laugh at the unpredictability of this industry and strive to be lighthearted.
• I will serve others and not let elusive and fleeting fame (if that happens) inflate my head.
• I will attend conferences, read writing books, and welcome critique.
• I will serve my readers by praying for them and answering emails when God provides time.
• I will write for the sheer joy of it, not despising unpublished words.

So, yeah, publishing does not validate me. Sure it feels great to hold my book in my hands. It's lovely when I get a good review. But it's the hand of God on my life that brings me ultimate validation. That God stooped to earth and chose me, a frail, needy girl, stops my heart every time. And by His grace, I will carry on.

Mary DeMuth mentors writers toward publication at The Writing Spa, which now has a brand spanking new Facebook page. Head over to this post today or tomorrow for a chance to win the 2011 Sally Stuart Christian Writers' Market Guide, my fiction proposal tutorial, and a 5 page substantive critique from me (a $200 value!).

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When I met a Publishing Me Monster

Yesterday I read this post by Micheal Hyatt about two kinds of leaders, one narcissistic and one other-centered. It reminded me of an encounter I had at a book trade show one year. I was relatively new to the author scene at that point. A new friend, gracious and famous in his own right, took me around the floor of the show, looking for a specific author to introduce me to. He felt we were a good match in terms of what we wrote about and figured we'd like to meet.

We did run into the author. My gracious friend introduced me. The man half-extended his hand to me, then looked over my head, not catching my eye. I could sense my friend's alarm as the famous author continued to "uh huh" while he looked around for more important people to meet. In short, he was a Me Monster.

After that meeting, I vowed that if I ever became "famous" (ha ha ha), I'd try my best to be deeply engaged when I met people for the first time. I'm sure I've had times of distraction. But the idea of engagement reminds me of author Randy Alcorn's advice at the first writing conference I attended. He said any fame that comes our way is simply an avenue to serve more (not to be served.)

I've run into supersar authors who are gracious and engaging. And I've encountered superstars who love their stardom more than people. May it be that we as authors become the former--deeply interested in people, not buying into the press about ourselves.

Before I attended that first conference where Randy Alcorn spoke, I had a painful encounter. It was as if the story of my life flashed before me, particularly the trials. "Jesus," I said. "I've had a lot of trials."

His answer to me has haunted and spurred me: "Yes, you've withstood many trials," He said. "But will you withstand the trial of notoriety?" That's been my prayer ever since--to not only withstand that trial if notoriety comes, but to do well. I don't want to be a Me Monster. I don't want to have my books be all about me, my sales, my fame, my my my.... I want to serve, to listen, to facilitate healing in others. And I certainly can't do that if I'm filled to the rim with myself.

What about you? Have you met a publishing Me Monster? What do you do today to prevent yourself from becoming one?

Mary DeMuth writes about healing from the past, the subject of her fiction and nonfiction, at http://www.marydemuth.com.

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I Give You Permission: Be Yourself. (A Post about Marketing)

When I started this writing gig, my ears were wide open (if one could say such things about ears). I knew I had everything to learn, so I did. I took every criticism to heart, morphing myself with each piece of solicited and unsolicited advice.

Partway through that journey, I found my writing voice. It didn't happen overnight, unless you count twelve years of solid writing overnight. Once I felt comfortable with my style and voice, I could discern better which advice to heed and which to kindly toss.

It's the same with other aspects of writing too--particularly PR and marketing. Once you start the publication journey, you'll hear a dizzying array of "shoulds." Here's a listing, in case you were wondering:

1. You should have a facebook page and a connected twitter account. Oh, and LinkedIn, and Bob's social marketing bonanza, and any other ning, ping, zing that comes around.
2. You must speak. And learn to speak well. Pay your dues by traveling to Bob's boathouse to talk about your maritime novel.
3. Remember to hire the right publicist. And practice your radio voice, presence, pitch, and tie everything you say to to your website.
4. Which brings me to websites. You ought to have one. And make sure you have a non-Wal-Mart-photstudio picture there. Be sure the site is SEO friendly. And be sure it's pretty and practical and stunning. It should look like you spent lots of money on it.
5. Oh and be sure you blog. A lot. Consistently.
6. You can't make a living as a writer, so create products on your site.
7. Email every bookstore in the continental US and make a relationship with every single bookstore owner.
8. Be sure you send chocolate (or other delectables) to your publishing house.
9. Buy a magnetic book advertisements for your car.
10. Send newsletters. Physical ones. Email-y ones.
11. Teleseminars and webinars are your friends. Shake hands with them.
12. Start creating seminars (real ones, in the flesh) utilizing your expertise.
13. Comment on blogs you have affinity with. 
14. Guest post as much as you can. Invite high profile bloggers to guest post on your blog.
15. Create or understand or formulate a brand or tagline. Who are you? How do you help others?
16. Have contests.
17. Build a database.
18. Give books away to influential people.
19. Rethink booksignings to make them less embarrassing! 
20. Be everything to everybody...

I write this list and smile. Why? Because I've done nearly everything on this list, pushing myself close to burnout.

It's odd to me how I was able to sift through writing advice after I found my voice, but I haven't been as astute in discerning all the voices in terms of PR and marketing. Instead of thinking through each set of expectations and seeing how they fit me, my ministry, my career, I've done everything. Because I thought I had to.

I know some amazing people in PR and marketing. And I've learned so much. But I've also learned that not everything fits me. And some of it drains me. I've learned from Marcus Buckingham recently that I should concentrate more on my strengths (things that strengthen me) rather than my weaknesses (things that weaken me). In light of that, I'm dropping some of my marketing efforts. I'm farming out others. And I'm concentrating on those that strengthen me--things like blogging and social media.

What I toss out won't be what you toss out. What I do well won't be what you do well. And that's okay. The point of this rambling post is to give you permission. Be yourself. Find your marketing and PR voice. Then you'll be able to better discern the advice that comes your way.

Remember, too, that this is a fickle business. I wish I could give you "the" formula to sell your books, but there is no formula. Part sovereignty, part hard work, part writing, part serendipity, part word of mouth, part mystery, we simply can't predict how to sell our books.

Which is where I rest today. I may never be a bestseller. It may not be God's plan. But I want to do this writing journey well. I want to market in a Mary-shaped way. I want to make Jesus smile in my efforts. And I want to let the results rest in His capable hands--He who wrote the bestselling Book of all time. I'm tired of running around in circles, heeding every piece of advice. I want to write. I want to write well. And I want to rest there.

Anyone else feel that way?

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Marketing can be joyful--really!

First, I'm thankful to be a new addition to the Novel Journey Team. A huge thanks to Gina for asking me to participate monthly.

As a guest poster on Michael Hyatt's blog, I recently did a lot of soul searching about who I am and who my tribe is, which means I've had to say no to several things. I'm no longer the owner of The Writers View 1 & 2. I'm discontinuing So You Wannabe Published. Although I know these decisions are right for me, a small part still wanted to impart to the writing community. A once a month Novel Journey column gives me that chance. So, thank you!

All my searching of late has brought me to this statement:

I craft and communicate stories in such an authentic way that strugglers find healing and no longer feel alone. 

This encompasses both my fiction and nonfiction, but more importantly, it defines my readers--folks who chase healing, who need community, who resonate with authenticity. They are my tribe.

We hear a lot about novelists and the expectations publishers have for us to market our books. My contention is that it's not about the methods you use as much as what it is behind your promotion that really drives your marketing. It's the why. It's about motivation. It's about the deep stuff.

I truly believe that what is inside our hearts spills out onto the page. And it also spills out into our marketing efforts. What I regret about my novel journey is that I didn't think long and deep about me, about who I was, about my unique message. I simply pursued publication, and sometimes a bit willy nilly.

In terms of marketing, I felt the weight of my own insecurity. In retrospect, I see that my insecurity  caused me to run like my dog Pippin from one compelling thing to the next, smelling out the next great marketing cause. I was not purposeful. I hadn't thought through the why.

So, now, finally, with nine books published in five years, I've come to a better place. It's my desire to spare you my journey so you can start strong today. If I were to do it over again, I would've asked these questions first:

1. What is unique about me that benefits others?
2. When folks email me a thanks for something I wrote, what are the common themes?
3. If I could deliver one message only, what would I say to my audience? Why?
4. What sets my stories apart from other novelists' stories? 
5. Why do I write?

Answering these questions will help you know you. Don't answer them the way you think your friends want you to answer, or your publisher, or agent, or critique group. Give yourself permission to be honest, to say it like it is. Once you've come to understand your heart, you'll be better equipped to think about marketing in terms of who you are and what invigorates you.

Then think about who the folks are who most resonate with you and your message. That will be your tribe. (For a better understanding of tribes, read Tribes by Seth Godin). 

Then marketing doesn't have to come down so much to method, or how many facebook friends you are or how many times you tweet and blog. Your marketing becomes a joy, a natural extension of who you are. Give yourself permission to be joyful as you market. Picture the people in your tribe, how they'll be changed or entertained or moved because of your words. Here's my unscientific formula:

Embracing who you are + Blesssing those who follow = Joyful Marketing

For those of you who aren't yet published, this is even more important and compelling. You have the opportunity now to really venture forward with strategy and joy. And for those of us who are plugging away as novelists, it's a time to reconnect with our readers and re-orient our hearts.

Mary DeMuth is the author of nine books, the most recent release being Life in Defiance, the third novel in the Defiance, Texas trilogy. She has three kids, two pets and one husband and lives in Texas, y'all. She blogs often about life, passion, and healing here.


If you need to know EVERYTHING there is to know about writing an attention-grabbing fiction proposal, complete with several samples and a template, click here to purchase. Scroll down. It's the second product.

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Mary DeMuth on Marketing

Mary DeMuth gets a little crazy sometimes with publishing-itis. So she writes pieces like the above to keep her sane and away from the men in white jackets. In between, she writes parenting books and novels. Her recent novel released last month: Daisy Chain. Everyone MUST buy it because she says so. She will end her bio by saying she enjoys writing about herself in the third person. You can find her Royal Craziness here: Or if you dare, you can choose to be mentored through the publishing journey at The Writing Spa.

This post is dedicated to all those faithful Tax Peeps who pare down our book earnings. Happy April 15th, all!

I’m an expert. I have six books under my writerly belt, and can throw my marketing girth out there for all to see and admire. Why can I say this? Because I received my first royalty check—which I promptly spent on socks at WalMart. Which is why I am starting a new marketing endeavor aimed at those illustrious folks who proudly call themselves Midlist Authors. It’s called MAD: Midlist Author Dictators.

Here’s how MAD works. We midlisters have tired of every conceivable marketing method known to computer-huggers everywhere:

• We’ve shouted on Shoutlife.
• We’ve given and received ridiculous gifts on FaceBook (hugs, gardens, little cyber-bits of foof).
• We’ve blogged ‘til the cows came home, and then we took movies of the cows and hoped to start a viral revolution on You Tube.
• We dusted off our amateur movie skills and made B-level book trailers.
• We’ve spoken to book clubs, fielding questions about that pesky scene (that we don’t remember writing) on page 154.
• We’ve paid handsomely for a website whose visitors consist of our grandmothers, four stalkers, and ourselves (which counts for most of our hits).
• We’ve paid printing companies mucho bucks for business cards, bookmarks, t-shirts, auto decals, and mugs. (And we’ve cleared out a closet and a garage to hold these items.)
• We’ve spoken to groups large (12) and small (1), and solicited email addresses for our gem of a monthly newsletter—only to have our subscribers rebel by unsubscribing and vowing to never read any of our books.
• We’ve twittered away entire days, telling our seven followers the intricacies of our days, how much we’re writing, what we had for breakfast, and what exactly the dog ate to make him throw up those colors.
• We’ve given away free books to people in Nigeria in exchange for 540,000 dollars. (Well, a book and also all our account information).
• We paid handsomely for a professional picture only to discover the picture actually looks like us. (We opt for a picture taken in high school when sags and wrinkles didn’t exist).

So we’ve worked hard, we midlisters. And what has all this toil brought us? Nothing. So we’re starting a revolution. We are now MAD! (Midlist Author Dictators, in case you forgot the acronym.) Here’s how MAD program works:

• We read books about dictators (benevolent and not so benevolent) and figure out what made them tick. We take notes. We puff ourselves up. We practice on our dog, trying to make him do new tricks. Once we’ve perfected that, we go to the next step.
• We take what we’ve learned and create an empire where we are our own dictators, forcing the general populace to buy every one of our books. This includes backlists and the books we bought for 25 cents from our publisher because they were destined for the fiery furnaces of destruction.
• We rule benevolently (hopefully . . . There is that thing about absolute power corrupting absolutely.) And then we retire in the Cayman Islands off all those meaty royalty checks. (But we have to hire someone to decipher them because, for the life of us dictators, we can’t figure those puppies out!)

So there you have it. A new marketing method for a new generation! Midlist authors unite! Get MAD! Dust off your dormant dictator and have at it! Your very future depends on it. If you can’t sell books the old fashioned way, you may as well dictate. And if you fail? I hear WalMart is hiring greeters—their own micro-version of crowd-control-cart-distribution monarchy.

The abrupt disappearance of young Daisy Chance from a small Texas town in 1973 spins three lives out of control—Jed, whose guilt over not protecting his friend Daisy strangles him; Emory Chance, who blames her own choices for her daughter’s demise; and Ouisie Pepper, who is plagued by headaches while pierced by the shattered pieces of a family in crisis.

In this first book in the Defiance, Texas Trilogy, fourteen-year-old Jed Pepper has a sickening secret: He’s convinced it’s his fault his best friend Daisy went missing. Jed’s pain sends him on a quest for answers to mysteries woven through the fabric of his own life and the lives of the families of Defiance, Texas. When he finally confronts the terrible truths he’s been denying all his life, Jed must choose between rebellion and love, anger and freedom.

Daisy Chain is an achingly beautiful southern coming-of-age story crafted by a bright new literary talent. It offers a haunting yet hopeful backdrop for human depravity and beauty, for terrible secrets and God’s surprising redemption.

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