Guest Blogger Ray Blackston ~ A Typing Tiger

Ray Blackston is author of the Flabbergasted trilogy. His latest novel, Par for the Course, released in February ’08 from FaithWords.

A Typing Tiger

Hands gripping the golf club, the golfer yearns to hit the perfect shot. Hands resting on the keyboard, the writer yearns to type the perfect paragraph.

Imagine for a moment the golfer. And since we’re imagining, lets make him strong and athletic, then let’s deck him out in black pants and a red golf shirt, with a Nike swoosh across the chest and a second swoosh adorning his black golf cap. Our hero—popular, well-spoken, and rich—deserves a cool name as well. So just for fun let’s call him “Tiger.”

On the golf course, our imaginary golfer is full of confidence; he smashes the ball over lakes, curves his next shot around palm trees, and holes a long putt across an undulating green. Ten thousand fans applaud. Another victory, another million. He tips his caddie big and even gives him the new Ford Mustang convertible that came with the million bucks. Our hero is sponsored by Buick; he could never drive a Ford.

Wanting a break from golf, our imaginary golfer then wanders into his home office, sits before his laptop, and decides to write a novel. Though he dons the same clothes and is surrounded by trophies, something feels wrong, as if the laptop doesn’t care about his red shirt and embroidered swooshes. In fact, the laptop knows nothing of his accomplishments; it only waits for him to type a sentence. He flexes his fingers, eyes his trophies, but confidence quickly wanes. An uncommon bout of nerves invades his body. He thinks, Man, this business of writing novels is more intimidating than the eighteenth hole at Pebble Beach!.

But he is a tiger, so he types away. Five days in a row, he types.

The first chapter is all about golf and a guy who wears red shirts and makes millions from smashing his ball across lakes, curving his next shot around palm trees, and sinking a long putt on an undulating green. Galleries applaud. He tips his cap.

In chapter two he gives a Ford Mustang convertible to his caddie, who wrecks it in chapter three, breaks his leg, and forces the golfer to hire a new caddie. This is drama. This is the best edge-of-the-seat plot our golfer can conjure.

By chapter four our hero is back on the golf course, winning another tournament, although this time the car he wins is a Buick—so he keeps it for himself. But as he begins chapter five, our golfer suddenly stops typing and realizes that he is out of ammo. He has not prepared himself for this job. He doesn’t know what to do, his prior successes do not transfer well to the page, and in frustration he grabs his 5-iron and smashes the laptop to bits. Thus satisfied, he picks up his golf bag and totes it back out to the course. He sniffs the fresh-cut grass, tees up a golf ball, and smiles. Home again. Thwack!

Have you, the aspiring novelist, tried to bring your past vocational expertise to the writing table and found it somehow lacking? I did. Ditto for most people. It can look so easy, this business of stringing words together to craft fine sentences which become fine paragraphs which become fine chapters which become fine books, although be warned that run-on sentences like this one will get you on the A-Train to Rejectionville.

I write these words because many people come at this writing thing unprepared, or, at best, semi-prepared. On the other hand, I can share that it’s not impossible to pen a publishable novel. It’s just hard. Like acquiring an engineering degree is hard. Or like being a full-time mom to four kids is hard. Or like shooting 68 in the final round of The Masters is hard.

What have you done this month to prepare yourself to write publishable material?

Have you squashed your pride and fears to the point where you willingly submit your work to a local critique group—and listen and apply their feedback? Have you identified when you are at your creative best—morning or evening—and structured your schedule to where you apply those hours to your craft? Are you improving your self-editing skills by critiquing the works of others, honing your editorial eye week by week? If you’re writing in first person (third person), are you reading mostly first person (third person) novels? Trust me, this helps.

Such habits, engrained over time, enable us to submit our best work, not our semi-best work, when it finally comes time to let an editor or agent read our stuff. I used to pray, “Lord, please don’t let my work get noticed before it is ready.”

Have you prayed that prayer? Can you pray that prayer?

Consider this: I recently heard that our golfer, this “Tiger” fellow, regularly gets up at 5:00 a.m., straps on a 60-pound lead vest, and jogs around his home golf course.

Why? To build his stamina.

He doesn’t just work on his swing or his putting—he knows greatness requires him to be the total package.

So I have to ask: what is the writer’s equivalent of rising daily at 5:00 a.m., strapping on a 60-pound lead vest, and setting out for a jog?

I’m asking myself that question today, and when I find the answer, I believe I’ll improve as a writer.

And remember, when you’ve prepared in like manner, become published, win every literary prize in existence, are counting your millions, and someone awards you a Ford Mustang convertible even though you already have five cars in your five-car garage, do not keep the Mustang for yourself.

Give it to Gina Holmes at Novel Journey.

I hear she digs convertibles (especially lime green Cadillacs).