Darlene Franklin ~ Writer's Pride

Award-winning author and speaker Darlene Franklin resides in the Colorado foothills with her mother and her lynx point Siamese cat Talia. She has two grown children and two grandchildren. She loves music, reading and writing. She has published one book previously (Romanian Rhapsody, Barbour, 2005), as well as numerous devotions, magazine articles, and children’s curriculum. Gunfight at Grace Gulch is the first book in the Dressed for Death series. Visit Darlene’s website.

The first glossy magazine that published an article of mine made a mistake. They sent me a hundred copies. I gave them to my family, my friends, and my friends' friends. I pressed copies on total strangers! I still have twenty-five left in a box. I was proud, I tell you. Not only did they print my article, but photographs I took as well. Breaking into the market as a writer and a photographer at the same time sustained my love of writing--at least until the next rejection slip arrived.

A few dozen articles and one published novel later, I still thrill to see something I've written in print. I no longer give copies to all and sundry, but you can bet that I share my copy until it's dog-eared.

Such pride flees like the last rays of sunset into the darkness of night. It lasts until a magazine assigns MY idea to someone else or until another writer has more published than I do. That kind of undesirable pride is an addiction, needing constant fixes of praise from friends or acceptances or even kind rejections. Anything less leaves me shaking my head. "Why do I write? Why do I put myself through this?"

Less than a year ago I was flying high. My contest entry, three chapters of a romantic suspense novel, qualified as one of three finalists. I had half a month to polish the remainder of the manuscript. For those fifteen days I worked day and night, rewriting it once, then twice, then three times. The pot o’ gold at the end of the contest rainbow? Publication! I was certain my book was worthy. I counted down the days until the winner would be announced. The bottom line: I “only” placed third. I was crushed.

I felt the same way when my first published book “only” earned me a third place vote as favorite new author of the year in a reader poll.
Ridiculous, I know. Many people could envy my accomplishments. But I can’t seem to stop myself.

At the same time, I castigate myself for wanting recognition. Yes, I should seek publication. As one of my friends says, "God didn't give you that story to keep it in a drawer." But I shouldn't hope that people begin to recognize my name, should I? After all, Solomon listed pride as one of the seven deadly sins. I vacillate between craving recognition and hating rejection.

I was at a promising point in my writing (two assignments completed and accepted for publication), but already wanting the next fix, when I read an interesting statement on pride. In her classic Out of Africa, Isak Dinesen said, "Pride is faith in the idea that God had, when he made us . . . . Success is the idea of God, successfully carried through."

Pride as faith?

Pride, faith. Faith, pride. Hmm, that reminds me of a verse from the Bible. Paul says, "Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the measure of faith God has given you . . . We have different gifts." (Romans 12:3, 6, NIV) To myself I add, "Don't think of yourself lowlier than you ought to, either."

Now that's the kind of prideful faith - or is it faithful pride? - that I want. Pride recognizes the unique gifts that God has given to me, and single-minded faith pursues the work he has set for me to do.
Norman Vincent Peale agrees. "Believe in yourself! Have faith in your abilities! Without a humble but reasonable confidence in your own powers you cannot be successful or happy."

Writing can bring me joy. I enjoy listening to people; and I share their stories through the written word. Other stories inflict pain, not happiness. Surely God doesn't want me to write about a childhood filled with abuse, including incest, does He? False pride tells me to ignore that story. But maybe God wants me to share that story to help others in the same pain. So by faith and with pride I write my story.

Other people's success won't dim that kind of pride. If anything, it shines brighter. Their success doesn't change my calling. My faith can grow through their accomplishments. Since God realized his idea in their lives, he will in mine as well.

God tests me on that through my critique group. I joined an online critique group with three other cozy mystery writers. We each developed our ideas and compared notes. Our stories—one set in a Colorado resort, one on a remote Maine island, one in a small Tennessee town, and mine, in a condo community—showed promise. First the Colorado resort story sold. A few weeks later, the editor accepted the island story and the one set in Tennessee. I waited, certain mine would make it four out of four. The editor’s decision? My cozy sounded like a romance. She invited me to submit a second proposal. I did; she rejected that one too. She is looking at my third proposal while my group mates have gone on to multiple book contracts.

I believe that God will realize his idea in my life. It may not be a “cozy.” Maybe that isn’t my calling, although I love reading mysteries. Maybe it’s one of the other proposals waiting on editors’ desks even as I write. Maybe it’s something new that I haven’t tried yet.

Faith sustained me through that dry period, when words seem as sparse as water in the desert and no one wanted my work. My calling doesn't come from the market, but from God. If an article never sells, I have still succeeded.

So I will write. Write out of pride that God has words to deliver through me. Only me. Write out of faith that what God has called me to do is worth doing. By writing, I please my greatest audience--the Father who gave me the gift. His delight strokes my soul with all the encouragement I will ever need.