I imagine it must be very difficult being married to a writer.
First, we're prone to days of inspiration and days where there's nothing happening. I don’t know about you, but if affects my moods. If I nail 5K words during my writing time, I'm in a much better mood.
Second, it doesn't look like we're working when we are. I'm accused of laughing out loud when I'm writing, which is good because it means I found the humor I use to balance the more gothic tone of my trilogy. However, it doesn't bolster the image that I'm hard at work.
Third, depending on your personality type, your real life and your writing life can compete heavily for your time. Often times my mind will choose a date or a talk with my sister to suddenly show me the next path in my story. I've learned to school my face and thoughts or get asked, "You're thinking of your book, aren't you?"
I hear all sorts of stories that go from husband and wives hating that their spouse writes to incredibly supportive spouses. As for my husband, he's an artist himself and uplifts me before others, so despite the occasional tug-of-war for my time, I knew he understands the path I'm on. I use to think I'd never find a way to balance home, career, mom, wife, and writer. But slowly a balance is starting to emerge.
What about you guys?
Get a Free Ebook
Five Inspirational Truths for Authors
Try our Video Classes
Downloadable in-depth learning, with pdf slides
Find out more about My Book Therapy
We want to help you up your writing game. If you are stuck, or just want a boost, please check us out!
Saturday, March 24, 2007
The Writing Spouse
My Dave is not an artist. He's a fire-fighting, land-scaping, meat and potatoes kind of guy who hasn't read a book in all the time I've known him (he reads tractor catalogues, the manuals that come with his machinery, and the region section of the paper.) So he doesn't really "get" what I do, but he is the most supportive husband I can imagine. He brags about me to others, pays for my conferences, and doesn't comment about my staring off into space for long periods of time. He encourages me and even supports me going back to college. Can't complain!!! On my side, YES, it is a challenge to balance my time between writing and family, plus find other things to talk about with my friends so I don't bore them to death!
ReplyDeleteMy husband and I went out to celebrate our eleventh anniversary last night. I had already reminded myself not to talk "book" all night, when what did he do but start dissecting my latest WIP, which he is halfway through. He told me what he's liked, what has slowed him down, what he thinks will happen, etc.... He's always, always supported me over the last 8 years, but when we'd spent the first 7 on one book, he had reached his limit and didn't want to hear another word about it. I don't blame him a bit! It's nice to know, though, with a new project going on, that he can get as excited as I can.
ReplyDeleteJanet, my husband didn't read fiction until Lord of the Rings hit the theatres. After watching the movies, he decided to read them. Afterwards, he missed reading and asked me to recommend a book. Ha! You know I jumped on that one. He's read Peace Like River, Where the Heart Is, Watership Down, and is now reading the Harry Potter books. At this point in time, he's not happy unless he's got a book to finish the day with. If you husband picks up a novel, just be prepared to feed the spark.
ReplyDeleteChristina, we just has our 11th anniversary at the end of January. How awesome that he's been so supportive in your writing. It must be fun to be working on new characters and a new plot.
Hey guys, that's funny. Dave and I celebrated our 11th last August!
ReplyDeleteOkay, we need to start a club! I know there are tons of people who've been married longer, but eleven years still seems like quite a long time. A polite, well-spoken boy at our Taekwon-do class was asking what my plans were for spring break. I told him Kevin and I would be going out for our anniversary, among other things. Suddenly, I had a crazy thought. "Wait, how old are you?"
ReplyDelete"Eleven."
There, standing right in front of my face, was a physical representation of what can happen in eleven years!
Jessica, I can't say how exciting it was to meet new people who lived in my head. :-) I was getting a little tired of the old ones.
It hasn't always been easy for Kevin to support my writing, as I'm college educated, yet a SAHM, and there have been times when it doesn't make sense for me to do something for years and years that costs money but hasn't returned a cent. Wait, I take that back. I did get paid $15 once. This new book has been a rejuvenating boost. And I'm praying this weekend especially for the old book, as we have two editors at the same house deciding (together) what they want to do with it!
Feed the spark? Sheesh. My husband used to read - a long time ago. He used to travel for work a lot, and he always read on the airplanes. He could read one or two books per trip.
ReplyDeleteWhen he took an early retirement, he retired hsi reading. The last book I gave him to read, I finally took back, reread it myself, then passed it on to a couple of friends - all before he ever missed it.
Sigh ... he still hasn't finished that book. I gave it to him 6 years ago.