All the Book's a Stage

I'm crititiquing some newer writer's stuff and I'm noticing a pattern: They give a lot of narrative. Telling instead of showing.

I did the same thing. You probably did too when you started out. I think its par for the course. But it if we ever want to get out of the sand dunes back onto the green and maybe someday even get a hole in one, we need to show instead of tell. (I don't play golf, so hopefully that metaphor worked.)

A writer friend put it this way: Put the story on stage.

Instead of: A man, who looked like a bum, walked in.
How about: The man shuffled in, his patchy white beard full of crumbs, his ripped jeans soiled with grease and dirt.

Instead of: She looked as though she'd been crying.
How about: Her swollen blue eyes were veined with red.

Instead of: She was beautiful.
How about: Her long auburn hair fell over her creamy white shoulders and when she smiled, nearly every man's mouth fell open.
(Let us be the judge by the details you give us).

Learning to show instead of tell is one of the more difficult things to learn, I think. It took me awhile. But when the light bulb finally went on, it stayed on.

Self Editing for Fiction Writers by Browne & King, (yes I'm naming that book again), was a great help to me. Along with my friend's words, "put it on stage."

Anyone care to share what helped them with Showing VS. Telling?






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